In the early months of our relationship my husband akin me to horses. He has such a love for the beasts and such undying admiration for their beauty that he used those descriptions on me. I was greatly appalled and deeply wounded someone would call me an animal! I even refused him if he called me "dear" because it sounded too much like "deer." I was young, hot headed, and these terms of endearment were not open for discussion.
The subject never came up again. In our 20 years together, I have taken time to learn about myself and not spend so much time shooting down all the doves and hawks that enter into my forest of misfits.
In that time I discovered how close we are to the beastly world and how interconnected we all are. I am connected to the spider, snake, horse, and mule! I am the dog, the cat, the fish, and the rat! I am all that and more. This is our human experience and I was asleep missing out. My husband instinctual and unconsciously saw the real me. He was trying to express his emotions the best he could being a tender young boy in love.
Today I had an epiphany. I am a wild mare. Beautiful, strong, and completely undomesticated. My sweet innocent man-boy knew this about me from the get-go. He knew what he was getting into before he signed up. He knew I was fiery, moody, and timid. He knew something about me I didn't know, yet.
There is not point to my lightbulb moment except that I had one. I am truly blessed my "cowboy" has been able to hang on tight and ride this "bucking bronco" this long. Not sure weaker men could have done so well!
The subject never came up again. In our 20 years together, I have taken time to learn about myself and not spend so much time shooting down all the doves and hawks that enter into my forest of misfits.
In that time I discovered how close we are to the beastly world and how interconnected we all are. I am connected to the spider, snake, horse, and mule! I am the dog, the cat, the fish, and the rat! I am all that and more. This is our human experience and I was asleep missing out. My husband instinctual and unconsciously saw the real me. He was trying to express his emotions the best he could being a tender young boy in love.
Today I had an epiphany. I am a wild mare. Beautiful, strong, and completely undomesticated. My sweet innocent man-boy knew this about me from the get-go. He knew what he was getting into before he signed up. He knew I was fiery, moody, and timid. He knew something about me I didn't know, yet.
There is not point to my lightbulb moment except that I had one. I am truly blessed my "cowboy" has been able to hang on tight and ride this "bucking bronco" this long. Not sure weaker men could have done so well!
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