To the overlooked and silent women with MKP men.....

Your man went to the New Warrior Training Adventure weekend. His first night home he acts different. He walks different, his mind drifts,  and his mannerisms are slightly off as well. He is exhausted from his weekend get-a-way. You probe him for answers with many questions. You get time and time again the same answers, "I cannot tell you about that." You feel frustrated and angry and  you cannot see how this weekend has helped your man in anyway. He wasn't talking before he left and now he is told not too. You feel like screaming, crying, and banning Man Kind Project men from entering your life and his. You have decided this was a bad idea and want no part of it. I have been there myself.

You go to the graduation. Immediately you see your man smile big and walk towards another man and embrace him in an excruciatingly long hug. They whisper into each others ears and laugh heartily. You feel uncomfortable and turn away. You cannot believe this is the man that you know. You begin to wonder if you know this man at all. Your fears about his changes begin to well up inside and you begin to feel breathless with panic. So much has changed in one week and the future is uncertain because now you have a new man in your life and you only know his name.

I was that woman. I despised MKP. I hated the fact that my husband was told not to share. I was equally disgusted he chose not to share. We fought more the first year after his weekend than we did our entire marriage to that point. My husband was not and still is not a communicator. I had hopes and dreams the weekend would change that. I felt like I was the ignored equation to this organization. My needs and desires were overlooked. So I thought. It took me a few years but I began to catch on. This was not about me. I knew this on the surface but down below I thought of this as a couples group. What I was missing and could not see was how the men needed this. The media, coaches, and well meaning men push the message of don't be a sissy, don't cry, don't be emotional, be strong, BE A MAN! This really hit home watching my sons deal with issues about manhood, "What is a man?"

My husband needed to know it was OK to feel scared, to cry, and to hug another man in a long embrace and still feel secure in his manhood. He did not have to explain to someone in the room, "I am not gay" because of the embrace. He was not labeled a "sissy" if he cried. He was not the subject of ridicule if he said he was scared. He was able to drop the facade and get a life, a real life.

Yes, it would be great if MKP would see we suffer from the society pressures on men as well, but I have yet to see that. Just like the military, they make no claims about being there for the wives and girlfriends, just the men (soldiers). "Changing the World One Man at a Time" means just that. They have changed your man in your life. How that affects your relationship depends on your relationship. It is scary. It's very scary but so is living with a man that is not owning up to his own emotions and not living life to the fullest.

For the sake of the world, let him go through this process with your support and be the strong woman in his life that loves him the way he wants to be now and not the lie he was living to make society happy.


Support his desire to change into the man he always wanted to be and take time to find the woman you always wanted to be as well.