To the overlooked and silent women with MKP men.....

Your man went to the New Warrior Training Adventure weekend. His first night home he acts different. He walks different, his mind drifts,  and his mannerisms are slightly off as well. He is exhausted from his weekend get-a-way. You probe him for answers with many questions. You get time and time again the same answers, "I cannot tell you about that." You feel frustrated and angry and  you cannot see how this weekend has helped your man in anyway. He wasn't talking before he left and now he is told not too. You feel like screaming, crying, and banning Man Kind Project men from entering your life and his. You have decided this was a bad idea and want no part of it. I have been there myself.

You go to the graduation. Immediately you see your man smile big and walk towards another man and embrace him in an excruciatingly long hug. They whisper into each others ears and laugh heartily. You feel uncomfortable and turn away. You cannot believe this is the man that you know. You begin to wonder if you know this man at all. Your fears about his changes begin to well up inside and you begin to feel breathless with panic. So much has changed in one week and the future is uncertain because now you have a new man in your life and you only know his name.

I was that woman. I despised MKP. I hated the fact that my husband was told not to share. I was equally disgusted he chose not to share. We fought more the first year after his weekend than we did our entire marriage to that point. My husband was not and still is not a communicator. I had hopes and dreams the weekend would change that. I felt like I was the ignored equation to this organization. My needs and desires were overlooked. So I thought. It took me a few years but I began to catch on. This was not about me. I knew this on the surface but down below I thought of this as a couples group. What I was missing and could not see was how the men needed this. The media, coaches, and well meaning men push the message of don't be a sissy, don't cry, don't be emotional, be strong, BE A MAN! This really hit home watching my sons deal with issues about manhood, "What is a man?"

My husband needed to know it was OK to feel scared, to cry, and to hug another man in a long embrace and still feel secure in his manhood. He did not have to explain to someone in the room, "I am not gay" because of the embrace. He was not labeled a "sissy" if he cried. He was not the subject of ridicule if he said he was scared. He was able to drop the facade and get a life, a real life.

Yes, it would be great if MKP would see we suffer from the society pressures on men as well, but I have yet to see that. Just like the military, they make no claims about being there for the wives and girlfriends, just the men (soldiers). "Changing the World One Man at a Time" means just that. They have changed your man in your life. How that affects your relationship depends on your relationship. It is scary. It's very scary but so is living with a man that is not owning up to his own emotions and not living life to the fullest.

For the sake of the world, let him go through this process with your support and be the strong woman in his life that loves him the way he wants to be now and not the lie he was living to make society happy.


Support his desire to change into the man he always wanted to be and take time to find the woman you always wanted to be as well.

Food

I went to Whole Foods last week, I go every week, but never had I had someone say anything to me about the amount I was buying. Last week I did. The cashier saw my cart load and asked me if I was "stocking up" at first I glared at him. "No" I said, "I am just doing my weekly shopping." In what sounded like an accusing tone looked strangely at me and said, "This is a week?" pointing to my ALL my food going across the conveyor belt. I looked up and said, "Yes, I have boys." His face took on the "knowing" of what that meant. The man bagging said, "the best thing about having boys is they grow up and take YOU out to dinner and PAY!"

Then up walks James, taller than me now. In his low voice tells me what is going on. The boys took their money and bought junk food. The cart load was not enough.

After this exchange I began to keep mental notes during the week and thinking of past weeks and what I should have bought in the way of food. This is what is normal in our home with 3 growing boys and a husband. Now remember I have food allergies and I do not eat any dairy what so ever, I eat no white potatoes, and I do not eat the bacon (allergic tot he spices), many of the cereals(allergic to wheat and grapes, usually sweetened with grape juice). I do not eat anything with wheat.

Gone between Friday afternoon to Thursday night, the kids call Friday "Starve day":

2 to 3 gallons of milk
1 to 2 packages of ice cream
1 package of frozen fruit for a smoothie
2 pounds of bacon
3 dozen eggs
1 to 2 loaves of bread
1 box of crackers (Ritz type from Whole Foods)
1 to 2 blocks of cheese
1- 5lb bag of white potatoes
LOTS of fresh fruit (this can be anything from 6 apples, 1 bunch of grapes, 3 grapefruit, and 4 to 5 peaches in a week)
3 to 6 cans of Mandarin oranges (2 cans a piece)
3 heads or more of Romain lettuce
1 bottle or more of salad dressing
3 to 5 boxes of cereal (various kinds)
homemade popcorn once a week with added cheese powder
1 jar of salsa
2 bags of corn chips
1 sour cream tub
1 block of cream cheese
1 ham
1 package of cheesy wieners
1 small jar of peanut butter or 2 weeks on a large one

This is NOT including dinners. This is strictly the extras I buy to keep people happy. What is more amazing they are not fat. The two that eat the most are the skinniest. The youngest is a bean pole and laughs about seeing his ribs and he packs away a ton of food. He's 6 yrs old and up to my boobs, OK, past them. He's soooo tall. Last year in Kindergarten he was taller than many of the 3rd graders.

I buy myself my rice milk and my 1 box of cereal I eat for dessert, but today the 12 yr old James ate 2 bowls of it and finished it off for me. This is Monday! I have to go until Friday afternoon before I can restock.

The fruity cereal is gone.

The peaches are gone.

A gallon of milk is gone.

1 dozen eggs and 1/2lb bacon is gone.

1/2 the ham is gone.

The salad......you guessed it........GONE

A little of the salad dressing is left.

I hide some food because I KNOW they need it for lunch once a week for a class. Otherwise it is consumed in a flash.

I know what my Father meant when the last son was born and he laughed a sinister laugh and spoke these very words, "Someday your grocery bill will resemble the national debt. These boys will eat you out of house and home. Yep, boys are Grocery Hounds."

Was it a curse or premonition? You decide.........................

.........until next time......send me some money! LOL!