To be or not to be....

The question here is: Can someone be to old for a crush? I am serious. Stop laughing. Ok, giggle a little. Does that schoolgirl ever really grow up? I am 35 and thinking, "Gosh, am I ever going to stop having crushes?"
It sounds silly when I say it out loud. I sounds worse admitting it here. Scary as well. What if the crush read this? I am doomed. Doomed I tell ya. Forever locked in my room red with girlish embarrassment. Why? 1. I am married with kids 2. Fear of rejection and 3. He will discover my inability to spell well without a spell checker! Oh the misery of it all!

Who said we can't have crushes anymore? Who said we can't cuddle in the corner of our mind with another? Hell, who said we can't do it for real? Life is really short and we, as a society, squander our time feeling guilty making up stupid rules. We want everybody to fit into a little box.

I wonder if we would have ever felt jealousy if we have never been taught that? Do you ever think about life in those terms? I do. I wonder all the time if my emotions are sparked or ignored because of how society views them. If my husband was to have sex with another person society would expect me to get angry. If my husband forgets piddly things day after day after day I am expected to "be nice" and do it myself and not to complain because "at least he is at home with you and not having an affair!"

Well if he was having an affair he would probably feel guilty about it and take out the trash the first time! Point being is that if I cry or bitch about a constant disregard of domestic help then I am labeled a nag, a bitch, and told to "do it yourself."
If it is an affair the I am allowed to do whatever it takes to get the pain out.

That is a society based emotions and expectations. Having a crush, in my mind, would be considered by most as being unacceptable and the same as an affair. HOGWASH! First of all my husband is plenty aware of my crushes, yes, more than one. He does not take offence nor worry if I love him. He knows I am flighty.

What am I getting at? I don't know, I suppose I am coming out of the closet. The crush closet and no man nor woman is safe!
I am out there thinking about you and I don't feel guilty about it either!