Wednesday, March 3, 2010

christians explain the earthquakes......

*written via phone no spell check

Today I was driving down the street and pasted a church with a changeable billboard sitting out front to tell you how welcome you are. A billboard to tell you the time of bible study and services. This billboard was void of such announcements. Instead it spoke of the recent earthquakes and which bible verses to read to discover why they are happening. I made a mental note of such verses. When I got home I pulled the paperback bible off the back of the toilet and went to my room to educate myself. There I found out why God is killing these people with earthquakes. Its because they are evil. They have strayed. The deserve this and the end of the world is near.

Do you get this? God made the earth shake. Killed hundreds of people, because they were evil. Evil? Haiti is evil? Little babies in Chile are evil? The dogs and cats crushed to death are evil? If they were evil why didn't Satan save his obidient children?

Someone posed the question to me, "wonder what they would say if it happened to them." I knew exactly what they would say, "The Devil did this to us!" You know that "evil-doer" we call a fallen angel but really has God-like status in the Christian faith.

Must be nice to never have blame bestowed upon your annoited Christian head. Never responsible for your actions.
If its good, God did it. Which means you are a good Christian. If its bad the Devil did it and you need to talk to God more.
Or you talk to that other God called Jesus. Oh it is all so confusing.

I am really glad the Christians know what is going on. Here I thought tetonic plates were moving and pressure was building and perhaps the domino effect might be going on. You know one moves it triggers them all. But darn it all to heck, it was God the whole time and he was weeding his field. He only keeps wheat you know and they were evil weeds.

Silly me, I was so ignorant. I thought weeds were just flowers and plants that wildlife ate but not what you wanted in your perfectly vain lawn....oh I really need to stop reading science and read the bible!

Monday, March 1, 2010

just another Tuesday on Monday......

I am not feeling very cuddly right now. I am not feeling very loving. I am not one to open my arms and let you in. I am feeling rather cold and distant. Distrustful. Cynical. Brash. Although my sexual desires are unquenchable.
I am not daring. I am not a darling. I could care less if sports even exsisted. I lack the ability to be tactful in many situations. I lack the ability to converse effectively in person. I am not willing to see your point of view because I mostly think you are an idiot to think that way. I do not think having an affair is bad IF the partner approves, but it IS bad if you are being sneaky. I appreciate honesty over most other qualities. I also respect you more if you admit blame and work to fix it, rather than lie and be a weasel. I do not go to church. I abhor religion, I have seen the light and it came from outside. I am fat and its not from eating bon bons and nachos with pop. I am not lazy, I just don't have enough to do. I get bored easily. I find most women pain in the asses and the biggest prissy shit heads. You will survive without a manicure and nail polish. No, I will not paint my toes. Get over it! No, I will not shave my pits, men don't have to. I have the right to keep my pubic hair the way it grows in. If my lover cannot abide by nature then they need to take a hike. I am a woman not a bald pussy little girl. Take your pedophile ass to jail and leave me alone. I am not tall. I know I am short, don't need a reminder every couple hours. I got that, can you? I am pretty, I don't need to wear make-up and look like a clown to "be pretty!" Nope, no perfume either. You can't dig my scent then we are not meant for each other, period. What you thinking? What a bitch? No, a woman that wants you to know there are women out there that really really like sex. We are not beauty queen barbie doll twits. We are real as real gets. We are in your face honest. We are alive! I am a woman. Real. Saucy. Sassy. Sexy. Beautiful. Strong. Like me, love me, or hate me. I could care less. I am going to be me and welcome the those that want to join my crazy train, but I will not wait for passengers. I got things to do. Woooo-wooo!