Every year we grow more and more restless. We want more from life. There's something better, right? He's the top tech and I a lonely desperate housewife. His phones, yes, he has 2 cell phones, ring constantly during the week. Mine rings only when a telemarketer calls. I use almost zero minutes a month on my phone. No one calls and I have no one to call.
Since my mother died my life changed dramatically with friends and family. My mother in law never calls, my friends all got jobs, and others found new friends that had babies like them. I'm stuck in limbo. I don't have family to visit, I have no siblings, and my father is practically a recluse.
I find it hard to hear my husband complain he is at a pinnacle in his life. He goes to his mothers to play Catan, he has breakfast with his father, his sisters visit, his aunt bakes him a pie for working in her house, he has friends he can drop in on, he has people calling him. Must be roughy have a family you can call up and go see and spend time with and enjoy yourself. Must be rough to have friends to visit. It must be rough to have people ask your opinion.
I finally tonight told him I'm jealous. I'm not sugar coating it for him anymore. I tell him and I get, "I know it's hard to go out and meet people but you need to just do it." I think my jaw is still on the floor. Let me look, yep, it's still there.
Excuse me? I'm to chauffeur kids around, find activites for them, and then find new social activites for myself....alone?
I just dropped the conversation and dried my eyes. I'm going to buy that book we talked about. The one about figuring life out, the one we were going to read together but now he's going to get an audio for his work truck. I'm going to buy that book and do it....alone.
What's better than that? I don't know but I'm about to find out!
