Monday, March 18, 2013

Passively waiting....

Do you remember your childhood? Do you remember your dreams? Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up? Do you remember your true nature that other people experienced? Now ask yourself if that person is still here or have they been abducted and in their place stuck the new and improved but empty and hollow you in its place?

That is where I am at in my life. This great dawning is revealing those suppressed memories of time gone by. That little girl that got in trouble for talking. That little girl that wanted to live dangerously and on the edge. That little girl that wanted to be a spy, a secret agent. That little girl with the highest government clearance. That little girl that wanted to do scary things. That little girl that wanted to live in the woods and live off the land. That little girl that wanted to chop wood and tan hide. A little girl that wanted to be an artist; sing, dance, poetry, write, paint, pottery, and act. The little girl that wanted to be fierce and powerful and famous.

Where did she go? Why did she leave? Was it from hearing, "girls can't do that" or "why would you do something so dangerous?" Or "you're never going to make any money, artist never make any money."

Was it the pressure to be something I'm not lead to apathy, depression, and a general undefined melancholy?

How might my life be different if I could tap into that little girl with big dreams and no inhibitions?

Would I have a general undefined joy rather than melancholy?

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