A journey to wholeness

Life experiences have a way of making or breaking you. I've decided that breaking is bad for me and I'm going to go with making.

I felt like a jagged stone thrown into a tumbler. I've been banging around for years, and I mean years.

I've dealt with bullying, back stabbing "friends", lying people, angry mother, sick mother, dying mother, and then dead mother. Sick grandma to the dead grandma. Depression, crippling depression. Addictions. Friendless, anger, jealousy, loneliness, and much of this in a solitary state.

Husband was in the navy and I was alone raising our son. My only friends were a coke head with mental issues and a drug dealer that hated my druggy friend.

When I moved back home my friends had all moved on and I was now alone raising 2 kids then 3 while my husband continue to carry on as if he was still in the navy, never home.

Life seemed to be one pile of shit after another. The tipping point was the failed adoption and the dead mother few months later.

At first I feel into a deep depression. Sucked into a miserable state of mind. Again,  practically friendless. One friend in California texted me every day. Just to day hello and tell me about her weather, her kids, her daycare job, and about anything else. She asked about my Dad and talked about my mom.

Another friend invited me to his meditation group. Another to a drum circle. Another for drinks.

It has been a year and one month since my mom died and Flint, the baby I named and couldn't keep, will be 2 in December.

I've made a lot of changes. I'm exercising again, dancing around, laughing, and painting. I'm starting yoga teacher training in September and Buddhist College in October. I'm learning how to hula hoop. I visited that friend in California in June. I signed my kids up with virtual school to take some pressure off me.

Life is finally, going into my 4th decade, getting to be something fun and something to look forward too.

I'm healthier in mind, body, and spirit. I'm making great friends and learning new and exciting things.

My relationship with my husband has matured and is easing into something firm and real.

Life is getting better. It's transforming. With that I'm going to let go of this blog and begin anew.

If you read this and know me contact me and I will send you to my new blog when I get it up and running.

With love and thanks for those people that stayed with me as I stumbled around.