Shhhh...

Sitting on my front porch. Ninety-one degrees and it feels cool. Breeze blowing, bugs chirping, highway humming in the distance. Everything, except the highway, is enjoyable.

I'm not alone though. My husband is here. He is asleep. He left work early because he needed to gather his senses. I've witnessed him sleeping three times since coming home. It's difficult to talk to someone that yawns and goes to sleep at the drop of a hat.

We were trying to discuss our new future. A future where we need to find ourselves. We never really did that. We got married at 18, 19 owned a house, and 3 days (7 days for him) before my (our) 21st birthday we had our first son. Sixteen years and three kids later, our youngest is 10 years old.

Our children are very independent and are needing us less and less in there lives. Which is fine, for them, but we are lost and know not what to do. My husband and I ate on the same page. He said he use to come home and did stuff with the kids. Now he just comes home and they barely notice. The boys ask me when I'm going on another vacation without them.

Our lives have changed and we are scrambling to fill in the holes that are gaping and empty from the hatchings attempting to leave the nest.

We use to joke that divorced people had it great; built in babysitters every other week. Now we realize that they also found ways to live their lives without kids during those times and we don't have those skills.

I wish I had a genie; a lamp to rub. I want to make three wishes....

.....but what to wish for?