It has been almost 2 years since my mom died and tonight I literally had the thought to call her and reached for the phone to tell her a saw my first love. I stopped myself and slunk into a heap on the bed and sat in bitter cold silence. My saddest welling up within and forcibly suppressed. Whom do I to call now? For almost two years I've wondered who could be my go to. I don't have siblings. My cousins are all mad I'm an atheist or in jail or assholes.
I'm 38 and wishing I had a mom. I wasn't done needing her.
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