I'm really amazed at the speed my emotions change and fluctuate through out the day, everyday. I'm also noticing a pattern. In the morning I'm happy to see my children wake up and we talk, make breakfast, get n with the day. I'm busy, distracted, and seem pleasant enough. Somewhere around dinner time I get extremely lonely and that brings on sadness. This lingers until my husband finally comes home and then returns when we barely speak or see each other before he falls asleep. The next day it begins again. If I keep myself distracted I do not think about the loneliness. I just keep plugging along. After a day of doing I find myself wanting conversation with an adult that does not include body function humor and video games. When that doesn't happen my expectation bubble bursts and I'm left holding flappy emptiness.

I either need to find more people to talk to or join a club or something. Perhaps get rid of expectations. That could be helpful. It's hard though.

Why do relationships have to be so hard. Friend, lovers, family, etc.... I sometimes wonder if we are making it harder than it actually is....are we suppose to form tight bonds? Are we suppose to wonder and not truly connect to folks?

Ahhhh, emotions....I'm going to bed. Fuck it.