hummmmm.....

Sometimes I wonder what possesses me to write some of the posts I do. I wonder what banshee took me over and caused me to form such pieces of "work." This is one mystery that will remain as such. I also wonder if I am even coherent in the "work."

I am always amazed when I have people tell me they LOVE my writing. This I find all to surprising. I base this on the fact I am not educated past the 12th grade. I base this on the fact even though I was educated to the 12th grade I found it meaningless and a grand waste of my time.

I base this on the fact I am someone that is not a ferocious reader, but a mediocre book worm. I base this on the fact I have not seen the world, nor do I tip-toe out to experience it much either. I am a wall flower for the most part. Timid. I am not your go-go getter gal. Nope, I am your "leave me alone I am looking into the stream at some frys (baby fish)" or " I am busy loving this strange smelly dog."
I like to cook, I like to shoot a 22 rifle just so I can prove I am a better shot than my husband who LOVES to shoot and does it more than I care too ( my kids call me Dead Eye Jane, and laugh at Dad secretly). I love to shoot arrows, but my arm does not like the sting the string strikes back with. I love to sit on a porch swing in a thick blanket and listen to the bugs making their mating calls at night with the cool air grazing and ticking my cheeks. I am simply simple. I am not an intellect, nor am I this or that. I am Gurgi. In the Prydain series written by Lloyd Alexander there is a part when the character Gurgi is described as being neither man nor beast. He is neither this nor that and does not really belong anywhere. That is how I feel. I am neither a Neanderthal than sits as a lump on the couch in front of the boob tube. Nor am I a Mensa genius that can rattle off pointless information about nothing. I am not business savvy, nor am I politically correct. One friend said I am "crass". No, no, crass is the old man term. I am not an old man! I only speak about how I see it. My brain also works very slowly around humans. I stutter, worse under stress. I cannot think. I stumble over the easiest of words. I am lost in space and I am stranded on earth gasping. Oh the torture...........yet I keep placing myself in these moments. I am also prone to getting excited too much or not excited enough and people take me the wrong way. People, oh people. The hardest thing in this world to understand. The hardest thing to relate to. Oh HUMANS, why oh why are they so hard for me to "just get?"

Oh well.
I think this calls for a Kombucha and a grapefruit. Drown my sorrow away with fruit and fermented tea. :)

I think I will watch the moon as I nibble and sip. Grandmother is spectacular this evening!