reached my limit

I have reached my limit for compassion. It does not appear to be there any more. After 18 years of stupidity, selfishness, and forgetfulness I can say whole heartedly that I have reached my limit for be nice. I have given up so much while he gives up so little or has to be pushed and pressured into giving something up.

As my mother was dying he HAD to go to the mens weekend. Struggling with my emotions and 3 kids and taking them to their grandmothers. I finally got him to come home for most of it. Yes, I actually felt guilty he had to give something up then I felt angry that I even had to call him!

I could sit a make a weekly list of "I forgot" and other excuses list from the past 18 years but the icing on the cake was yesterday morning and this morning, and Monday. He comes in and tells me he has to work Friday. Oh, great! Once a year the Goddess Gathering happens and the one fucking day I can go he says he has to work on his day off and claims (the one who forgets everything) claims I forgot to tell him. BUT guess who is going to his fucking weekend getaway for 4 fucking days in October? He can remember that! Yesterday morning he let the dogs out and then got in his truck and drove away. I texted him and told him and then I let the dogs in. Last night I put our cat, that has been outside for 3 months in quarentine so I can take him to the vet, in the bathroom. OH guess what? He forgot and left the bathroom door open this morning and now Gopher is someplace in the house! Great! I texted him about that too and have not heard back. And I will not be the least bit surprised if he forgot the trash, again!

And he wonders why I am not in the mood?

I can't leave the children because he forgets to feed them. The dogs as well. He forgets it all, unless he really desires it. Well that is complete selfishness in my book.

I am very angry right now. Most frustrating thing is if I attempt to talk to him he throws the "you spot it you got it" bullshit in my face and cannot see how I don't forget to lock up the dogs, feed the children, etc... and to keep from forgetting I USE A FUCKING CALENDAR! Because I know I don't have a bionic brain!

Yep, if talk fails ending sex will help at least make me feel better :P