just the way you are....

Actually the title should read, "Just the way I am." I thought the song title was catch-y.
How am I? Mostly depressed. I realized this today as nothing sounded fun and I didn't want to do anything about it. I wasn't that excitied about going to UnProm and was wanting to go home all evening!

I spend considerably large amounts of my time in my head, thinking about my mom's death and the saddness. I never really felt like I was allowed to grieve. Two days after she died I was at a water park for my son's birthday and the next week 4th of July and my son then breaking his collar bone. That was hectic with doctor appointments and such. Then homeschool groups, teen group, lessons, LIFE. I never had time for me.

I am really feeling it right now. My husband is about to leave home on and off for 8 days to 2 different places. Meanwhile, I will be at home with surly kids, laundry, dishes, driver, chef, etc... not to mention no adult to talk to.

I can't say I am excited. If anything I feel really pissed off. When do I get a time off? When do I get hang out with the girls time for 4 days straight? When do I get trips to Chicago?

Nope, as if I wasn't already feeling low I then get slapped with this! Oh Jolly fucking ho ho!