Be my rock

Creeping up on 10 months since my mom died. It's less painful but it us still hard. I didn't think it would be but it is.

I've been thinking about how to move past this and how to break free from the depression that creeps in and out, ebbing and flowing.

Doing it alone feels daunting at times and not only that, I'm the life jacket for my kids. I bouy them up and I'm left floating alone while they find firm footing on shore.

Being an only child with a dead mother and a father that uses you as a guiding light and thinks of you as rock solid pillar of the family is challenging to say the least.

I suppose what I really want is my family to know I'm not as string as I appear. I'm quite wimpy and soft. I cry and moan. I weep and feel despair. I need someone to be my rock as well, at least for a few months until I get my thoughts and actions and emotions back on track. I want people to be gentle because I feel overwhelmed a lot these days.

Be loving, I need it.