The power of connections

I just received a call from a friend that gave me some good news.

Here is the background story, so you can comprehend the importance of the news and why connections are important.

I seem to be very connected. Unknowingly so, nevertheless, connected.
I send out info and I stumble upon connections. It happened again tonight!

I have a male relative in prison in the state I live in. He is very far from me, so I have not been able to visit yet. I have since been ordained so I could be of some use for him. He has written me letters about how he wants to better himself and would be interested in any religious books I send. I had told him about the 'Gita and about the Krishna devotees. He wrote back saying he was interested in knowing about this, since he has so much time on his hands! He also told me he could have religious books, but not other books. I then go to my friend that use to be a monk and has many connections within the world of Krishna devotees. I told him about my relative and he told me he would give me some books for him. Free of charge, all I need to is pay for the shipping. I did this. i sent the books. I then received a phone call from another family member about how the prison confiscated the books because they were Hindu and not Christian like his paperwork had on it from when he was brought into the court system. They told him he could pay to send the books back, or have them confiscated and he would not be allowed to have them in his cell nor have to read. I then reported this back to my friends. This was a couple weeks ago. Through the "network" a social worker there at the prison happens to be sister to one of the devotees!! That was the call. My friend called me and asked for his name, they were working on how to get the books back into his hands.

I had no idea the connections, but they were there. I just simply spoke about the facts and let the Universe, Krishna, Goddess, God, Allah, whatever you call it, I let it happen.


I love living :)

Children in the back seat chattering about a silly pretend world. The oldest in the seat beside me trying to explain mufflers and the environmental impact of "crappy old mufflers."

A CD is on the verge of being to loud, but it is alright with me because my memories are enjoying the jog into the past with the lyrics,
"Will the wind ever remember
The names it has blown in the past,
And with this crutch, its old age and its wisdom
It whispers, "No, this will be the last."
And The Wind Cries Mary."

All is well as I drive down the road. All is well and peaceful.
I take a moment to thank the Spiritual Powers that Be and let my soul grin with Motherly Delight!

It did not matter at that point the blueberry patch had no berries to pick after our hour long trip, it did not matter that I had gone the wrong way.

We were together, we were happy. The inside of the car was serene and I basked in the bliss of the rarity presented to me. The gift was given and savored.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

With an attitude of gratitude I slip off to bed and await another beautiful day tomorrow.

Yes, the Universe is kind and generous, you just need to pay attention.

Good Night!

A Indian/Hindu wedding

This past Sunday I went to an Indian/Hindu wedding. I was invited by three separate people, one finally being the Father of the Groom. He said to "please come and enjoy the festivities."

I had planned on going, Hubby on the other hand did not want to go. He said it felt wrong to go to a wedding where we did not know the Bride or the Groom. I told him it did not matter, because we know the Groom's parents and their friends, plus this was an enrichment opportunity. He only went because I told him there was going to be a feast afterward, plus my oldest wanted to see his friend and spend the night there after the wedding. His friend lives on the same land as the wedding party. It is 40 acres with 4 maybe 5, soon to be 6, Hindu families living there in different dwellings. Anyhow, I finally had a date for a function instead of going alone. I was thinking, before Hubby said yes, how I was going to explain the reason why Hubby did not show up when it was his day off and they knew this. Luckily he made a wise choice to join me. :)

It was the most different kind of wedding I have ever been too. I have been to boring Christian weddings (mine being one of them), I have been to boring and extremely long Catholic Mexican weddings, and I have been to Justice of the Peace outside weddings. They all paled in comparison to the Hindu wedding. This was the most sacred and beautiful wedding I have ever been to, even my own.

The seats were all set up like a big "U" around a square alter that was set up above the ground.
Inside the square was a smaller square that later contained a fire. Around the smaller square was the 2 Brahman (Hindu Priests) facing each other. The Bride and Groom sat together on one side next to the Brahmans. Before they sat down the Groom came out and sat down and waited for the Bride. She finally came out, but the Groom was not allowed to see her. Her bridesmaids kept her covered as she walked around the large square alter many times. We could see her, but he could not. As she made her rounds around the alter the crowd made noise and the Transcendental Conch Shells were being blown for her arrival. She wore a Red Sari, a gold headdress that came down over her part, her eyes were encrusted with jewels in arches above her eyebrows, Tilak painted very carefully on her forehead, feet and hands covered in henna art, jewelry clanking from her bell covered ankles to her bangle covered wrists, a Bindi on her forehead between her eyes, and a flower garland around her neck.

As I sit here with multiple distractions and feeling rather grumpy I will not go into all the details.


Anyhow, they had so many customs and they told the meanings behind each one, they were very informative.
I learned so much and enjoyed it so much, I want to be remarried with a deep sacredness to it.
It was not "tradition" for the sake of tradition. This was real meaning, it was sacred, it was deep. It was love, and beauty. It was so unlike the Western "Tradition".

I finally think this is my "church", going out there and chanting and learning all this is so exciting.

I think there is a lot to learn from this "tradition" that I can incorporate this into my life as it is now.

Not all religions and traditions are perfect, it is my job on this Earth to be responsible for myself and learn what I can, where I can, when it is time and available.

I am now giving up the idea of looking for someone to go with me. The right and perfect person will show when needed and go with me, or not. I can no longer wait for people to join me. Hubby has his own path, whatever that is, and I need to be patient with him. Oh my this is the hard part, LOL!

Anyhow, not myself tonight. Tired, pissy, and not 'on fire" with my writing, yet if I don't do it my thoughts build in my brain and I feel as though I will certainly go insane if I do not relieve pressure by "blabbing"..................

Now I will go read and think about something Hubby and I talked about the other day; Materialism.

Night!

What the.....goatee?

Hubby always stops shaving when he is on vacation. No matter if it is 2 days or 8, the razor sits in the drawer and the cream sits alone in the corner.

Last night he shaved to prepare himself for work today. I heard him in there for several minutes. I heard the water turn off and some other noises, and he began to walk down the hall. I stopped to look at his bare clean face and what did I see......a Goatee!

My first gut reaction was a strange one, to myself and the Hub. I gasped, covered my face and clinched my eyes shut. I let out a wailing sound of disgust and pain with 2 words, "EW! No!"

Hubby burst into laughter asking what was wrong. At the moment I could not tell what the problem was. I knew I wanted it off him right then! Every time I looked at him I made the same horrible noise and look of disgust. The sight of him was burning evil images into my retinas. Oh the hideous GOATEE! "Take it off" I wailed!

I know this is very hip with my age group. The 30 somethings and 40 somethings think this is "cool" and some how makes them look better.

I have not discussed this with any women, I find it better not to bring up the fact their husband looks goofy with this lonely patch of hair on his face. So I do not know how other women think, nor do I give it much thought. BUT when on my Hubby I gave it some serious gut reaction, YUK!

Here is why; It always looks as though a man just went down on a woman and came back up with his face covered in her hair, LOL! That is my goatee visual for today! Not to mention some mens faces are not shaped right for this hair placement.
Nor does this hair make people forget your head is balding.
This is, however, a great way for not so attractive men, or men with facial issues (moles and birthmarks) to cover such things.

But attractive men should leave the pussy hair on the pussy and not on their lips and chin!

BTW.....Hubby laughed all the way to the bathroom to shave it off, he came back and said, "well I didn't think it was that bad!"

Ugh, this coming from a man that use to wear Grass Green and Navy Blue Plain flannel shirt with a Blood Red T-Shirt underneath. Oh I stopped that right way. When I found out he was NOT colorblind, I told him there was no excuse for such color combinations! LOL!!!

Never a dull moment here ;)

My man is back!!

OK, so maybe I missed him more than I thought, but I am already thinking he needs to go back to work.

He got home late Saturday morning. Took forever for us to get going, but we finally managed to get out of the house and visit with my parents for awhile. We made dinner for them, had ice cream for dessert, and then left he kids there for the night.

I was driving and I saw the exit for the Arboretum and took it. We got there just 30 minutes before the gate closed. We got out and took a 45 minute stroll, OK we actually took time to make out in shady places. We quit when a huge blood-sucker made my arm dinner.

When we got home we sat out on the porch swing and enjoyed each other. Then I had a light bulb moment! Just days earlier I hung my red beaded mosquito net on the porch. I talked Hubby into getting snugly inside it. I grabbed a beach blanket and used it to keep bugs out from underneath the porch. Hubby ran and got an air mattress and sleeping bag. I grabbed one of the kids super hero comforters that NEVER get used, and actually we used 2. One for more squish, and another for the top. I grabbed 4 pillows and we were set. The Goddess Shrine was ready. The night was perfect. It was not hot, nor too cool. There was a gentle breeze.

I don't know when we drifted off together, but I know at 1 am Hubby jumped up and left. I woke up and did the "***piff*** wimp" thought. I tried to go back to sleep, but it was no use. My 30 something bones were telling to stop lying there and head up to my pillow top mattress!!! I was determined to sleep outside.

Here comes Hubby. He was covered in welts. Bugs had eaten him from the outside because his skin was touching the netting. I was not touching the netting and had a blanket on also. He did not. He was eaten alive, literally. He wanted me to come in. He feared I was next. I laughed. I came in only because my bones were not happy with me.

It was so beautiful while it lasted, but the new has worn off!

Today Hubby laughed and said, "well I think it has happened, I need to go back to work, you've had enough"

HA HA! It is so great he understands me so well that he does not take it personally. I can only handle so much and then I need my space, no matter how much I adore you!

With that said, I am going to go to bed and adore him some more before he goes to work in the morning.

Tootles!

TGIF

I have reached Friday. No Hubby and no oldest child. It was weird, to say the least. I think I handled it remarkably well. I hate to say this out loud, but I have not missed my Hubby. I miss my Oldest, not that he has much to do with me these days. I am not longer cool, hip, and all that. He always thought I was trying to be something I shouldn't. An old fashioned soul that one, he better change or become a fundamentalists, or he will not fit in with the modern woman someday.

I am more worried about my Oldest than anything. He is at Boy Scout Camp, the night after those Scouts in Iowa were killed a tornado whipped through the town his camp is located, with touch down. I have yet to hear about it, my Hubby called 2 hours after it happened to say they were OK and He loved me and hung up. Their are 800 campers there all needing to call home.

Anyhow, as for the missing part. I find this odd. Then again, I do not find it too odd. I grew accustomed to Hubby being away when he was in the Navy. That was a long time ago, and since then I found it very difficult with him away. But this time I did not find myself yearning for him. I found myself not even thinking of him. I was preoccupied with other things.
Now, I know him well after 15 years of marriage, if I was gone he would tell me how much he missed me lying next to him in bed.
I found myself enjoying the fact I had no one saying, "turn off that light" and making weird obnoxious noises from their head, and no one groping me. Ahhhhh.............it was a breath of fresh air!

Do I want to leave him? No, I just needed space, a time to myself. No man bugging me about sex, no one snoring, and no one telling to turn off my light while I read!
This is why you see old people with separate rooms. :)

My younger two are watching Savage Sam. I have been letting them watch a movie before bed every night with Dad and Bubby gone.
Dad would complain they are up to late and Bubby would be pissed they are in the computer room while he is listening to music and IMing his buddy.

I heard back from the school. My oldest does not have a class this coming Fall. Back to homeschooling. I am actually, Hubby does not know yet, looking into places to relocate too.
North Carolina and Wisconsin seem the most promising. My middle child is pissed about this idea. He wants to stay here and go to school with his friends. My youngest is all for it. The place in NC is 3 hours from Myrtle Beach. The place in Wisconsin is gorgeous with greenery everywhere! I still need to talk to Hubby and Son. Then go from there. Nothing is set in stone, ever!
My MIL wants to be the teacher, and we pay her. I am thinking her price is very high. Not to mention all the supplies we need to buy. I think she is not being realistic here. The school deferred those costs out, and I was not stuck with it all. We paid a supplies fee, but they made bulk orders and it cost a lot less, plus they got the discount and the tax free for being a 501 3c.
I do not have those things. Also I think my oldest might throw a fit knowing it is Grandma as teacher, LOL. She even said Hubby might throw a fit because he remembers her as his homeschool teacher! LOL!

So much to do, think, and all that jazz.
Instead I think i will go watch a movie with youngest, drink my herbs and do Sudoku with my light on :)

The number 4

I love the number 4. I had this thought while driving home tonight, and I felt compelled to tell no one and also to tell everyone. This is a blog! LOL!

So what is up with a simple number 4? Let me tell you, it sounds great with any other number and stands alone nicely too. It's like a pair of brown or black garment or shoes, it goes with everything.

That is the number 4..............

.....on a differnt note............

Tonight I went to a Multi-cultural meeting. It was very intersting. I enjoyed myself. I really did.

No nude dacing for this chic tonight, but hey, maybe someday again..........LOL!

OK I really need to head to bed and do Sudoku and drink my herbs.

My only problem with this whole thing is this, I like these meetings. I want to seak up, but I am an introverted thinker.

In short I take it all in, like a sponge. Then I get home, wring it out into the basin and sort through all the soakings. Then I think about each one carefully. I drive myself mad and everyone else around me as I sort through my scattered thoughts. Then I begin to form them back together. Then I desperately want someone to talk to about it and they are already thinking about hte new subject. So I hunt down my husband and pounce on him with my thoughts. He struggles free, gasps for air and says, "I don't know what you are talking about!!!"

Sigh...............

no really, I am going to bed now.................

And I am not using spell checker, too damn late!

Life lessons

I am finding it so interesting how life works. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one paying attention. Sometimes I wish I was paying better attention and had more faith.

Right now I am watching all kinds of drama unfold. I am having a tough time remembering to not sink into the drama and have faith it will all work out in the end.

What happened?

In short, the funding was pulled from my oldest son's class. This funding kept the school above water. Without it there was not going to be a class. The people that were giving the large donation decided to quit and take their child out of the school for next year. Where does that leave myself and the other parents? Up shit creek with a hole in the boat and no paddle to boot.
We had a very long meeting with the Board and Faculty. Finally I asked the teacher (our class teacher) to leave the room, he did. All the parents then went into why he was not a good teacher. No he was not a good teacher, I agree, but I also was to damn scared before to say so because finding someone to be a teacher to a mixed aged class and in small town Ks town, well, you can see what I mean. But after the funds were gone and the school wanted to know how to keep the teacher we all stood up and said, "NO!"

Where does the life lessons come into play?
I have been observing patterns I have seen in past relationships that went sour taking place right before my eyes between other people. I can now stand back and say, "humm, I see that she is lying and he is clueless and oh, wait, everybody put him on the pedestal, oooo.."

I abhor the "pedestal!"
You want disappointment that will crush your soul and make you feel completely depleted put someone on a pedestal. Crown them and call them the Almighty Lord and know they will do not wrong because you put them there, how could it be??

Priest were put on the pedestal.
Doctors, police, and judges.
too much power given away and people lose their minds when they are given that much power. Absolutely lose their minds. Can't think, forget how to be human and think with their hearts. They begin to wander and stray into territories of absolute lack of judgement, step over the line of "out of character" and abuse the power bestowed upon them.

Give a mortal power of the pedestal and you will surely be greatly disappointed in time.

I have also noticed how when people put these "Gods" on the pedestal they can do no wrong in their eyes and when people find out they did wrong they deny it. Everybody else is wrong and therefor should be dealt with. This person then will lash out, ignore, be passive-aggressive, and/or all of these things at once. I have also learned it is best to let the Worshipers find out on their own or have enough people to join you in tearing down the pedestal and making the God a simple screwed up Man. If you don't have enough people, then you are simply screwed yourself. You will be considered the Taliban and will be shunned.

This is why I kept my mouth shut, this teacher was a God on a pedestal by the Faculty and Board.

I had to wait until enough parents got together and spoke about how they did not approve of his ways. We then brought down the house of worship swiftly. TNT baby!

He will be leaving and now we must figure out what to do. We have options like find a new teacher, not many Steiner trained teachers around here that are unemployed. Another option is homeschool co-op.

We have a couple months to think about this.

Until then I will remind myself to have faith that the best possible situation will happen. I will also remember my lessons I have learned from failed relationships of the past. They have served me well this week :)