What a decade. During the past ten years my uncle Gene passed away, my dog Medwin die, my dog Buckwheat and my dad’s dog Ziggy. Sam’s Grandpa Earl Drake passed away, my grandmothers Birdie Burdiss and Alice Watts passed away, and my great grandmother Clara Rogers passed as well. I had the misfortune and amazement that my mother clinically died and was then revived and life flighted to the hospital. Two of those deaths were doctor failures, my mother and grandma Birdie. I have little faith in the modern medical system. During the early years of the decade my oldest son was very ill. From Friday night to Sunday morning we took him to the ER three times. Each time they told me he was constipated. For those three days we were up nearly round the clock taking care of a screaming crying little boy in writhing pain. I insisted, no, demanded, that we take him to Children’s Mercy. There they discovered he had pneumonia and was not constipated but that his body had completely shut down his organs. Modern medicine helped, yes, but the other hospital was going to let him die. There, again, I lack whole hearted faith in that profession.


During this decade I had more children and attempted to have more children. I even gained a teenager! James Edward turned 13. During this decade Jonah Ellington was born and turned 10 before the new decade began, two years behind him is his brother Zane Austen. Sam and I attempted to adopt a baby right at the last second in 2010. It failed but we are still trying for the new decade. Nathan Flint is his name. We fell in love with our bundle of joy. We cared for him for two weeks before handing him back to the state of Maryland because the father, a homeless and jobless man wants to parent him. We are waiting to hear how this turns out. We would love to have him back but are also prepared to go forward and get a different baby if we can.

We have had education ups and downs during this decade. James started kindergarten at age 5 in public school in one of the countries “best” districts. That was the worst year, worst school, doubly worst teacher, and triple evil school board and school staff. I did not enroll James for the following year and the school kept calling. I said I was homeschooling. They kept harassing. Then they threatened to take James away from me. I called the district attorney office and told them what was happening and that I could not get them to back off. Few days later I get a call from the school apologizing and lied to my face saying all they ever wanted was for me to sign papers saying I was homeschooling. At 7 years old I placed James in a private school in Lawrence Ks. I began to notice how he was not improving and the teacher actually scolded me for not teaching him geography. That was HIS job, so I thought. James was almost 9 when I took him out. He still did not know what a period or a sentence was. I was highly disgusted. Within 2 weeks at home he knew what a period, exclamation point, question mark, and others. Jonah went to the preschool part of the class. I took him out when a teacher accused him of stealing money from the counting jar and Jonah watched him stick the money in his pocket. We went back to homeschooling for one year when Jonah asked to go to public school. He went from October to April. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked miserable. His spark was sucked from him. I took him out early and he thanked me. He hated it but was afraid to tell anybody because he begged to go. We continued on with homeschooling until I discovered the Waldorf school that we were going to put James in after kindergarten but it failed to open when they said they would was now open. Not only that they had room for all three boys! We did a full year of that. The stress and drama was too great. James teacher left because the parent that was paying his salary said he was inadequate and they refused to pay (he was and more so) and Zane hated his class. A former employee advised me to not re-enroll Zane. With his passionate hate and on that advice we did not re-enroll. Jonah then refused to go back on grounds that “James use to protect me from the boys in the other class.” Well I didn’t know that was going on either. We are back to homeschooling and we are never going back to public or private again. Why pay for public school hassle when it is free and why put up with it at all? Our lives are simpler and calmer now.



I moved into the country on a dirt road then someone came along and bought all the land next to us and built min-mansions, gave us cul-de-sacs and paved the roads. I became a beekeeper and then quit. Sam the next year became a beekeeper and has kept going. We were going to get goats and bought an expensive gate and installed it. I accidentally burnt it down. We still have no goats. We got chickens and they died the first night, we got guineas and they died the first night. We got a mama and chicks and something got into their pen and killed them the first night. My father began calling this place Auschwitz. We held off for a few years and started up again with meat chickens. I was a feather plucker for 19 chickens that took 8 hours to process. We have decided for this new decade to buy a mechanical chicken plucker . We are still thinking and mulling over the idea of having goats. We decided instead to go with ducks, turkeys, guineas, and hens. When we moved we gave up cable TV. We decided that the kids needed more outdoor time. It was slow and hard to change. It is still hard to get them out. It has changed me though. I look forward to nice days to work outside. I am starting to get the hang of gardening. I have planted some berry bushes and trees to reap the rewards of my hard labor. The digging holes for trees, the mowing, the gardening, pretty much all outdoor activities I do by myself. I feel pretty proud about that.

During this past decade Sam and I have grown apart. Almost divorced and then worked really hard at fixing the wounds of the past. During this time we not only healed those wounds but while doing so strengthened our bond with each other. We are better friends, better lovers, and better people because we went through it and stuck it out. Was it easy and fun? No and HELL NO! It was anything but easy and fun. We did it though. I am thankful we kept swimming instead of giving up and drowning. I feel blessed and truly loved. We are in a good place together.



As I look back I see how much of my decade was rough. I felt it but never really realized how rough it sounded. I even failed to mention a family member incarcerated, Zane being hospitalized for an infection caused by a rusty nail in the foot, Sam and I going back to school, classes we took, and all the other little and big things we did.  Every decade brings about its changes. This cannot be stopped because there are so many variables and influences out of your control. I can though create MY life and create something with more beauty, more calmness, more serene loveliness. I can create peace and joy. Abundance in friends and finances. I can create great health and vitality. I can create more movement and exercise. I can create everything and anything I want. There are no rules, only suggestions.

This new decade I am waking in the belief I am powerful. I am healthy. I am fit. I am happy. I am rich. I am a talented writer. I am a great cook. I embody love and share it freely. I share my happiness. I share my talents. I am safe in whatever I chose to do. I travel at free will. I create on demand. I am open to experiences that leave me glowing and happy. I embody pleasure. I live by the golden rule. I expect others to live by it as well. I believe my children benefit from my happiness, joy, love, and great health. I expect the same for them. They are healthy and happy and safe. I am not a manipulator and refuse to play that role any longer. I will no longer allow guilt to be part of my vocabulary. I am a Goddess. I am a Mother. I am a Friend. I am a Lover. I am an Artist. My life is dictated by what I want and not what society expects from me. I will not sit down and shut up. I will stand up and I will be heard. I will move through the ranks and I will summon the power that be and let my spirit flow with ease through the mess we humans call “civilized living.” I will break up the “status quo” and I will be a force to be reckoned with. All the while I will smile and do it from a place of love and peace. So be it!