Sunday, January 23, 2011

Writing prompt epic fail

This prompt was to be about people in my head and how they felt running my body. I consider this one an epic fail and hubby agreed. I am sharing it anyhow.

“Ok people let’s get those eye lids open. It’s been nine hours. Herbert, what is taking you so long? Open the eyes, NOW!” yelled Jack


“Ok, sir, but I am experiencing a malfunction. Free will is taking over and I can only maintain one eye. What should I do?” said Herbert

“Let me think…..OH! I got it, switch on today’s agenda. If she is so into her free will then that will keep those eyes open.” Said Jack

“Initiating itinerary, sir, in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and we have uploaded today’s itinerary. “

“Alright then now let’s begin the stretch sequence and…” Herbert interrupts Jack

“Sir, we have a problem. She ignored the itinerary upload and decided to hold off on some of the activities to sleep longer. “said Herbert.

Jack ripped his cap off his head and rubbed it on his forehead before reattaching it. He sighed loudly, “alright alright begin stage 3 dreaming and add in about five minutes of stage 5 towards the end. Make the whole dream sequence last 75 minutes. Then to make sure her free will does not interfere again let’s make it really hard for her to keep her eyes open the second time around.”

Oh my god, what was that about? What a strange dream. One minute I am dancing on a pier and the sun is setting with a foo-foo drink in my hand and next I am being chased down a dark alley in a hurricane storm with a man eating Cyclops after me and he is gaining. Ugh, I can’t sleep after that!

“Jack, she is awake. Stage 5 dream sequence did the trick.” Smiled Herbert

“It’s about time. Get team alpha to the bladder and proceed to jump vigorously until she gets up. Hopefully it will not take as long as yesterday.”

Herbert rolled his eyes, “tell me about it, sir, I sent team Charlie to the bladder at 5am and she still used free will mode until 9am! Team Charlie was so tired they could not relieve team foxtrot until 4 hours later. This is one hard assignment sir. Never seen so much free will usage in my life! Team alpha is in place and has begun to jump.”

“Very well, how about those eyes, doing what I said to do?”

Yes sir but I think your plan is back firing. She has brought in free will again sir.”

Damn it! Herbert, send any available member to jump on the bladder and send another crew to the bowels. We will get her up one way or another!”

Hummmm…..my eyes just want to stay shut. I suppose I will go back to sleep for a little while longer but not too long because I have got to pee like a race horse. I can hold it though. Hummm….it is just so darn cozy here. My errands can wait. Oooo, I feel a turtle head popping out. I will get up sooner than I had planned. I am not getting up until it is about to come out!



Herbert began to get excited at his post and started to jump up and down and squealing with joy, “sir, she is moving! She has decided to use the bathroom! Shall I call the teams back in or redirect?”

Jack smiled a sheepish smile, “redirect alpha to the stomach. Let’s make her hungry. She will surely get going if she has to go downstairs to eat!”

Herbert redirected team alpha to the stomach. Team Charlie finished up in the bowels and was sitting in the control room on stand-by when the news came in.

I just don’t feel like doing anything right now. I know, I will read. Ooo, I am really hungry. I will read a little bit then go down and get some breakfast.

“OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!” screamed Jack and he threw his cap onto the floor and stepped on it. “How long has she been back in bed reading?”

“One point five hours, sir, and counting.” Said Herbert

“Queue dizziness and lightheadedness, that will make her get up and eat.” Ordered Jack.

“Sir, I took the liberty of doing that 35 minutes ago, she laid down instead of sitting up and said she would go downstairs soon but she keeps reading and now I am getting reports in from all the other sectors that is shutting down into nap mode. They said they heard her mumble something about it being Sunday.” Said Herbert.

“Ok, alright, Oh Geesh, I need to think about this one. Keep working on her. I will be back.”



No comments: