Been feeling pretty bummed out. I am doing my best to keep from falling into a deep depression. I am also concerned for my father so I call him every day to check in on him. Sadly, I find myself sitting at the kitch table not doing a damn thing for hours. I just sit there and stare into nothingness and feel despair.
I have to make myself get up and workout, do laundry, go to the store, and wash dishes. I just want to sit and stare and do nothing. It is rather sad. I feel bad about it. When I realize what I am doing I break myself free only to go back to doing nothing some more. I have been giving myself permission to watch TV and use my exercise equipment while I stare at nothing important but I do not feel fulfilled just tired afterwards.
I keep telling myself that it has not been a month yet since my mother died and it takes time to process all of this. I just did not realize how sad I would feel.
Life goes on and time will heal but right now in my world time is standing still and I am frozen to my seat with a glazed fixed stare to nowhere.
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