There in my window, hanging from a piece of sun bleached yarn, a wax creation made from old crayons. The window also displays the word LAUGH in yellow and a strand of costly beads dangle from a thumb tack stuck in the frame on fishing line. Above the window on either side are elephant hooks awaiting the curtains I have never gotten around to putting up. Hell, I haven't even looked for any to buy. They have been waiting for years! Down the wall to the left is a cheap gold frame with a small poster of a painting by Van Gogh. It is titled "first steps" and its a poor looking family joyful because the baby is taking their frist steps. Below the painting is my dresser that has taken on a life of its own and it is all chaos!
My dresser is not well loved. I find myself loathing it. It needs a new paint job with something new and funky. The pink, dark purple, and gold no longer speaks to my soul. It is sad actually because the the dresser does speak of my soul. I have always used my dresser as an altar. I have a hawk feather, Mary, a picture of a divine Mother, a young Krsna and his mother, pictures of my kids and little tokens of love from them, birds nest, pine cones, singing bowls, art, and then on top of all of that a pile of unmatched socks and folded clothes I intend to get rid of. It represents me so well it is scary. Underneath all that crap is a layer of goodies I may not want anymore. A piece of me that has changed and has a different view but not sure what that view is and what to do with all this stuff!
I feel the shift but I don't know what to do about it nor do I know how I really feel. LOST, just simply lost. Just letting it go and going with the flow and pretty much not caring what people think.
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