Text

I got a text yesterday at 2pm. I was confused. I thought it was sent to me by mistake. It said  "grandpa C died the funeral is now." 

I sent the text to my mother in law, she knew grandpa C. I could see her phone was connected by the green light. She didn't respond. I sent it to my sister in law in Massachusetts. Response. She said she got an email early in the morning but hadn't read it until recently. 

I never heard back from my mother in law or my husband that sent the text in the first place. Not a call or text back. I was in the dark until my husband got home at 10:30pm. He told me "everybody says hi" 

I look confused at him. "Who is everybody?"  He says, "everybody at teen night."  "You went? is that why you are so late?"  "I was working nearby and dropped in." See, I don't mind he dropped in but I was under the influence he was working. Lack of communication, again. 

Finally, I mentioned the funeral. "So you went to the funeral?" He said, "yeah, I sent you a text. You say I never tell you anything." 

This communication thing eludes him. As you can tell, his mother isn't much better because she never acknowledged my text either. I asked him how he found out about the funeral. He said, "I got this text that said, "grandpa C died Sunday, funeral is at 2" he said he got it at 1pm. He didn't know who sent it. It came to be it was his other sister, not the one I texted. 

This is my life with this family. No communication. None. They expect mind reading and if they say something it's not uncommon to be vague. Once someone sent an email with the words "help, my house is flooding and I need S to come over quick!" I got the email 3 days later because I was busy. When S called them back and said we just got the message the other person took it as we didn't want to talk to them. Oh for crying out loud! You send a freaking email in an emergency and it is our fault because we didn't want to talk to them? Aye aye aye...I slipped off the trail. 

I'm seriously not sure how to respond to my husband saying, "I sent that because you say I never tell you anything." 

I was speechless. I was struck dumb. Yes, technically he said something to me. But when I text him for clarity I got none. As with his mother. His father sent an email to his sisters, not my husband. My husband told me his father and wife and his mother were at the funeral. I did, at least, get a call he was working late. This was after I made dinner, but hey, I got a call. No mention of funerals thought my text. I waited to see...

Am I the only one that thinks this family needs help with communication? Am I the problem? I feel absolutely crazy after talking to these people at times. I am usually the last to know or they expect me to know because they swear they told me and it usually comes down to the fact they told someone else. I don't speak vagueanees or between-da-linesanees. I wasn't raised like that. My grandpa would scream, "god dammit" and then bark his orders and he still does. My other grandfather would yell " you're a fucking bitch." To my mother when he was drunk. My grandmothers were about the same. I knew where I stood with those folks. No mystery. No vague round about ways of saying we hate you, or we don't want you around, or you are stupid. Nope, they would just tell it like it is. My grandfather to this day says, "you big dummy" when he yells at you about something stupid you did. No, it doesn't feel good. That's not the point. But feeling like a mushroom, sitting in the dark, fed bullshit doesn't feel good either. 

I married into the opposite extreme of my family.  Just looking for balance here, folks. Just some balance.