Ever have weird thoughts pop into your head at the weirdest moments? 

A few minutes ago the memory of tiny paper Dixie cups at my grandparent's house. Her house always smelled of spices. Mostly celery seed and bay leaf. Black coffee in the percolator, hot buttered toast, and Sunny Delight or chocolate milk for me. Grandma going to work and grandpa getting up from his night shift from the railroad. My mom long gone at work. 

I spent many hours alone while grandpa did his own thing all day until grandma got off work and she then did her own thing until my dad came and got me after he got off. We would get home and my dad would go off to do his own thing. My mom would get off work, come home and make dinner, clean up the kitchen, do some laundry, and then sit down to watch TV until bedtime. 

I had all day everyday of summer break, spring break, and winter break to absorb every inch of both houses. I mixed spices, I concocted potions, I tried on shoes, I searched all the drawers, I drew pictures, I colored, I masturbated, and I was bored. 

Funny, writing it all down I see how I haven't changed much. My kids do their own thing now, I eat almost all my meals alone. When my husband comes home he disappears to the garage, neighbors, or the bed to look at his iPad. I do what I have always have done. I play with spices (cook), make potions (tinctures), paint and sew, and other things. 

My husband makes comments about my need for solitude and quietude. My "homebody" ways. I've never, in 38 yrs, done ANYTHING different. 

I married my husband, unconsciously, because he was familiar. He didn't bug or intrude. He let this princess head off to her secret ball....alone.