If you know my first and last name, you can find me on Face Book!
I just signed up this week.
:)
Saturday, December 27, 2008
To tithe or not to tithe, that is the question.....
Yesterday I was watching 700 Club, not by choice, and something came on about tithing. A friend of mine asked me about this very thing a few weeks ago. I am a slow processor, and did not get back with him on that, but I have thought about it since then. When I saw this segment on the program I started to think about it again. The woman on there said she never wanted to tithe because it was her hard earned money and she was not going to give it away to someone else.
I could relate to that. I have those same thoughts sometimes. I like to give when I know it is helping a worthy cause, but to give just because it is expected, I do not buy into that. I give where I am fed. Meaning if a friend, company, an author, etc... helps me, meaning my soul, they touch me deeply, then I tithe. I do not feel it necessary to tithe to my church all the time, unless I do feel a soulful connection. I have to also keep in mind that the church has expenses, same has home, to keep it going. There for if I want a church to come to I better tithe.
The "magic" behind tithing is rather simple to understand. It follows the Golden Rule (Ethic of reciprocity),
I could relate to that. I have those same thoughts sometimes. I like to give when I know it is helping a worthy cause, but to give just because it is expected, I do not buy into that. I give where I am fed. Meaning if a friend, company, an author, etc... helps me, meaning my soul, they touch me deeply, then I tithe. I do not feel it necessary to tithe to my church all the time, unless I do feel a soulful connection. I have to also keep in mind that the church has expenses, same has home, to keep it going. There for if I want a church to come to I better tithe.
The "magic" behind tithing is rather simple to understand. It follows the Golden Rule (Ethic of reciprocity),
Commonsensism: A version of the golden rule put into modern, non-religious terms that some people live by is, "Treat people the way you'd like to be treated".
Buddhism: 560 BC, From the Udanavarga 5:18- "Hurt not others with that which pains yourself."
Judaism: 1300 BC, from the Old Testament, Leviticus 19:18- "Thou shalt Love thy neighbor as thyself."
Hinduism: 3200 BC, From the Hitopadesa- "One should always treat others as they themselves wish to be treated."
Zoroastrianism: 600 BC, From the Shast-na-shayast 13:29- "Whatever is disagreeable to yourself, do not do unto others."
Confucianism: 557 BC, From the Analects 15:23- "What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others."
Christianity: 30 AD, From the King James Version , 7:12- "Whatsoever ye would that others should do to you, do ye even so to them. What this means is this......
Give your time, talent, and treasure. Give yourself. Find time to help others. Help others with your talent. Help others with your money. Volunteer. do some work for people that you can do, but they cannot; your talent. I cook or work hard on a project without complaint. Sam does plumbing. We find something we want to do to help others, not inflate our ego. The return on the this kind of work is fulfilling though to the soul.
Tithing is not always about money, it's about where your heart leads you to give, in any capacity you can. It's really very simple, you get what you give. So give away freely WITHOUT the expectation it will came back, and will begin to flow goodness your way.
If you do not give, the opposite happens. The Universe takes it's 10% from you. Car trouble, refrigerator, dishwasher, etc....you will be fixing, repairing, and dodging the metaphysical ball of bad luck if you do not give.
So remember the Golden Rule and it will all end well.
Try it for 1 year. See what happens!
Peace.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Being different............
As I was lying there on my pillow last night, face stained with tears and pillow moist with my emotions my husband whispered, "it's sometimes lonely being different" and I responded with a even meeker whisper, "I know, I wish I was not different sometimes."
The truth hurts. Being different, for whatever reason, makes you stick out from the crowd and is very difficult to be accepted for many reasons.
Those that "fit in" and are perceived as "normal" are not accustomed to feeling this way, this is my opinion. Even when they don't fit in somewhere they make sure they make someone else not fit in with their clique. Just like a skinny gorgeous woman has no idea what being fat is like.
When everybody looks at the skinny woman with Awe and everybody looks at the fat women with disgust. Both women are getting looked at but the energy behind the looks are very different.
Instead of getting to know people we shun them without knowing the deeper side of the person.
We form opinions of them and black list them. We get others to join our sides and meanwhile the one being shunned is clueless why.
This has happened before, to me. And I have done this myself. In fact this all came about from the feeling I got from being at my husbands company party. I was so shunned by the women there. Something men, I think, don't have to deal with for the most part. Women, on the other hand, shun quite freely and openly. They have no qualms about rollings eyes and making "tisk" noises under their breath. You get the dead stare, squinted eyes, and "I hate you" vibes reeking off their auras.
I am out.
If you don't play the game according to others' rules you fall victim to being ousted.
I am ousted a lot.
I do not play well with others rules of engagement.
I don't drink very much. A wheat-free beer now and again, my wine goes bad between drinks because I wait so long. In fact I nursed my last beer for 3 days.
I don't eat animals with fur/hair.
I don't like watching sports.
I don't like NASCAR.
I don't like being in smoky places.
I don't like watching scary, evil, bloody, killing type movies.
I don't play BINGO or BUNKO/BUNCO(sp?)
I like meditating.
Talking about philosophy.
Talking about religion.
Eating Indian foods.
Playing my drums.
Laughter.
Chanting.
Being kind to animals.
Being in service.
Helping others.
There is a lot I like but these people take no time to learn about it. They are too busy seeing me as a "goody two-shoes" and a "pain in the ass" and "tea-totter"
I cannot help this.
They have to see for themselves I am able to be fun without beer. I can be a good ear.
I am real.
I refuse to let these people decide my fate because I want to fit in.
I will not bring down others to bring myself up.
I will not compromise myself to fit in.
So, Sam's right, "being different is lonely sometimes", yet I know I am stronger than those people. I can cry about it and move on. I am not changing for them.
I leave you with a quote by Henrik Ibsen,
The truth hurts. Being different, for whatever reason, makes you stick out from the crowd and is very difficult to be accepted for many reasons.
Those that "fit in" and are perceived as "normal" are not accustomed to feeling this way, this is my opinion. Even when they don't fit in somewhere they make sure they make someone else not fit in with their clique. Just like a skinny gorgeous woman has no idea what being fat is like.
When everybody looks at the skinny woman with Awe and everybody looks at the fat women with disgust. Both women are getting looked at but the energy behind the looks are very different.
Instead of getting to know people we shun them without knowing the deeper side of the person.
We form opinions of them and black list them. We get others to join our sides and meanwhile the one being shunned is clueless why.
This has happened before, to me. And I have done this myself. In fact this all came about from the feeling I got from being at my husbands company party. I was so shunned by the women there. Something men, I think, don't have to deal with for the most part. Women, on the other hand, shun quite freely and openly. They have no qualms about rollings eyes and making "tisk" noises under their breath. You get the dead stare, squinted eyes, and "I hate you" vibes reeking off their auras.
I am out.
If you don't play the game according to others' rules you fall victim to being ousted.
I am ousted a lot.
I do not play well with others rules of engagement.
I don't drink very much. A wheat-free beer now and again, my wine goes bad between drinks because I wait so long. In fact I nursed my last beer for 3 days.
I don't eat animals with fur/hair.
I don't like watching sports.
I don't like NASCAR.
I don't like being in smoky places.
I don't like watching scary, evil, bloody, killing type movies.
I don't play BINGO or BUNKO/BUNCO(sp?)
I like meditating.
Talking about philosophy.
Talking about religion.
Eating Indian foods.
Playing my drums.
Laughter.
Chanting.
Being kind to animals.
Being in service.
Helping others.
There is a lot I like but these people take no time to learn about it. They are too busy seeing me as a "goody two-shoes" and a "pain in the ass" and "tea-totter"
I cannot help this.
They have to see for themselves I am able to be fun without beer. I can be a good ear.
I am real.
I refuse to let these people decide my fate because I want to fit in.
I will not bring down others to bring myself up.
I will not compromise myself to fit in.
So, Sam's right, "being different is lonely sometimes", yet I know I am stronger than those people. I can cry about it and move on. I am not changing for them.
I leave you with a quote by Henrik Ibsen,
“The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone”
Saturday, December 13, 2008
What is religion?
That is the question. Many people have an answer for that. I myself have my own opinion. Last week at a Hindu program I attend a young man well versed in the Gita gave a mini-class on this exact question.He also attempted to talk about the Gita. Very young and ambitious equals missing the main target and partially hit two.
We ended up talking about Arjuna and not about what religion is, in my opinion. It could be also that my brain works on a completely different level than most people, at least those people in that room that night.
Religion is not about Arjuna, per se. It's about GOD. It's not in what you call GOD either. Krishna, Buddha, Lord, Jesus, Mother, Father, Allah, Spirit, Goddess, heck you can call God The Great and Powerful Spaghetti Monster. What matters is that you realize that in the end you search will bring you to the Supreme Being, the Cosmic being, the One and Only Supreme Personality of Godhead.
All religions have dogmas for you to follow. You should not follow them unless you know why. If your religion said to cut ties with your family, you better find out what benefit that is to your soul. Same if they tell you not to eat meat. What is the benefit? Will you get closer to God by disowning your Mother or Father, your Sisters ad Brothers? Will you soul awaken if your are prejudice to others? Will God disown you if you eat meat? My thought is, no, but I will not advance as far as I could in my spiritual quest if I do not follow the dogma. I also feel what is right and what is wrong. Drinking all night and having casual sex feels wrong. Wrong in the sense it seems more animalistic than animals. How can I get closer to God if we are so foggy with gin?
How can we feel cleansed with some strangers semen dancing around in my body?(The semen energy remains even if you use condoms, chew on that)
How can I get closer to God if I have filled myself up to the brim with Ego?
Ego, the true soul killer. It's what fuels you to sleep with someone casually. You have this false sense that this person finds you attractive (for the moment they do because they want what you have) and you get a high from that first. That is your ego. You later find pleasure physically, now you have drained all the soul into a person that is not caring or deserving of that energy. You have given your soul away for a night of pleasure with a stranger so you could build up your ego of, "I am hot." or "I am wanted."
You get a false sense of power, a momentary high until reality sets in and your ego feels low again and you need the pick-me-up high of someone telling your sweet words in your ears that turn your into that Ego Goddess and back into the sack you go. Ego is the real Satan.
Ego is powerful. It can make your think you are not cool unless your drink while out with friends. It makes you think you are less important than someone else. You base this on something you want that they have and feel bad you do not have it. Too skinny, too fat, small boobs, big boobs, straight hair, curly hair, fair skin, dark olive skin, etc....?
Think about it. You give into your ego and let go of God in the process.
You can follow dogma all day but will not get you closer to God until you drop the poisonous ego and see yourself as the soulful being you are. You cannot love God until you love yourself. You cannot love God until you can love others, even your enemies. Once you have stopped the monster of ego you can then begin real soulful work in this world of loving, accepting, and cleansing your soul for God. Drinking, un-abandoned sex, and self destructive qualities will be a thing of the past, you will not crave these. Then you have reached real religion. Every religion wants this from you. You don't see it because you are too busy being stuck in your ego world of "Me! I am the Supreme ALL Important!" Even if your feel low of yourself, you act in this way with your ego. Sympathy hounds. Sick, sick, sick, miserable, woeful, pitiful poor you. This encourages others to fawn all over you with get well cards and well wishes, your ego gets a high, so you get sicker to get more well wishing. It's a vicious cycle we humans play to get attention for our ego.
What we need to do is be kind to those that are in our presence. Send love to all, accept people as they are and move away from the being living in Ego Land. Drink the nectar of God, breathe in God's love, dance in God's ardor for you and bask in God's light. Look for God's attention. What you seek will not be found in a bottle of beer, or tube of lipstick, a pill, or in a new pair of designer shoes. You will still be, as John Lennon put it, "crippled inside."
Next time you go to church, look around. Look at all the miserable people all wrapped up in their Sunday best, make-up, hair just so, clean-shaven faces reeking of cologne. All aimed to impress you and not God. All aimed at filling up their weekly quota of Ego. Not filling themselves up with God. You cannot attain God by checking in once a week and saying, "Hey, I am still here."
How long would you keep a wife or husband if you only called home once a week?
Not to mention your hungry soul you deprive the rest of the time.
Does a child or pet live if you only feed it once a week?
Neither does the soul, neither will God be open to drop in visitors. He wants to see you are committed. God wants you to call home a few times a day, God wants you to feed your "child" many times a day.
So what is religion?
Drop the ego.
Let in God.
Work towards love, peace, and acceptance of others and yourself.
Be good to ALL, cause no harm, even to animals.
Make that weekly trip to church a time to share your deep love of God with everyone. Be the example of great it can be.
Also, don't forget, God wants you to feel joy!
Joy for God, joy for others, and joy in your own heart.
It does not matter what church you go to. If it feels right, it is right. That is where YOU are suppose to be. If others want in, let them, but don't go hounding people. Each person is on their own path. They will find their own home in due time. Over zealous pushy proselytizers push those teetering people further down the slope away from God. They fear your reasoning behind it and will not advance any further. Be kind. Be love. Be patient.
We will not all get it in this life time, but we will get it sometime.
Take care.
We ended up talking about Arjuna and not about what religion is, in my opinion. It could be also that my brain works on a completely different level than most people, at least those people in that room that night.
Religion is not about Arjuna, per se. It's about GOD. It's not in what you call GOD either. Krishna, Buddha, Lord, Jesus, Mother, Father, Allah, Spirit, Goddess, heck you can call God The Great and Powerful Spaghetti Monster. What matters is that you realize that in the end you search will bring you to the Supreme Being, the Cosmic being, the One and Only Supreme Personality of Godhead.
All religions have dogmas for you to follow. You should not follow them unless you know why. If your religion said to cut ties with your family, you better find out what benefit that is to your soul. Same if they tell you not to eat meat. What is the benefit? Will you get closer to God by disowning your Mother or Father, your Sisters ad Brothers? Will you soul awaken if your are prejudice to others? Will God disown you if you eat meat? My thought is, no, but I will not advance as far as I could in my spiritual quest if I do not follow the dogma. I also feel what is right and what is wrong. Drinking all night and having casual sex feels wrong. Wrong in the sense it seems more animalistic than animals. How can I get closer to God if we are so foggy with gin?
How can we feel cleansed with some strangers semen dancing around in my body?(The semen energy remains even if you use condoms, chew on that)
How can I get closer to God if I have filled myself up to the brim with Ego?
Ego, the true soul killer. It's what fuels you to sleep with someone casually. You have this false sense that this person finds you attractive (for the moment they do because they want what you have) and you get a high from that first. That is your ego. You later find pleasure physically, now you have drained all the soul into a person that is not caring or deserving of that energy. You have given your soul away for a night of pleasure with a stranger so you could build up your ego of, "I am hot." or "I am wanted."
You get a false sense of power, a momentary high until reality sets in and your ego feels low again and you need the pick-me-up high of someone telling your sweet words in your ears that turn your into that Ego Goddess and back into the sack you go. Ego is the real Satan.
Ego is powerful. It can make your think you are not cool unless your drink while out with friends. It makes you think you are less important than someone else. You base this on something you want that they have and feel bad you do not have it. Too skinny, too fat, small boobs, big boobs, straight hair, curly hair, fair skin, dark olive skin, etc....?
Think about it. You give into your ego and let go of God in the process.
You can follow dogma all day but will not get you closer to God until you drop the poisonous ego and see yourself as the soulful being you are. You cannot love God until you love yourself. You cannot love God until you can love others, even your enemies. Once you have stopped the monster of ego you can then begin real soulful work in this world of loving, accepting, and cleansing your soul for God. Drinking, un-abandoned sex, and self destructive qualities will be a thing of the past, you will not crave these. Then you have reached real religion. Every religion wants this from you. You don't see it because you are too busy being stuck in your ego world of "Me! I am the Supreme ALL Important!" Even if your feel low of yourself, you act in this way with your ego. Sympathy hounds. Sick, sick, sick, miserable, woeful, pitiful poor you. This encourages others to fawn all over you with get well cards and well wishes, your ego gets a high, so you get sicker to get more well wishing. It's a vicious cycle we humans play to get attention for our ego.
What we need to do is be kind to those that are in our presence. Send love to all, accept people as they are and move away from the being living in Ego Land. Drink the nectar of God, breathe in God's love, dance in God's ardor for you and bask in God's light. Look for God's attention. What you seek will not be found in a bottle of beer, or tube of lipstick, a pill, or in a new pair of designer shoes. You will still be, as John Lennon put it, "crippled inside."
Next time you go to church, look around. Look at all the miserable people all wrapped up in their Sunday best, make-up, hair just so, clean-shaven faces reeking of cologne. All aimed to impress you and not God. All aimed at filling up their weekly quota of Ego. Not filling themselves up with God. You cannot attain God by checking in once a week and saying, "Hey, I am still here."
How long would you keep a wife or husband if you only called home once a week?
Not to mention your hungry soul you deprive the rest of the time.
Does a child or pet live if you only feed it once a week?
Neither does the soul, neither will God be open to drop in visitors. He wants to see you are committed. God wants you to call home a few times a day, God wants you to feed your "child" many times a day.
So what is religion?
Drop the ego.
Let in God.
Work towards love, peace, and acceptance of others and yourself.
Be good to ALL, cause no harm, even to animals.
Make that weekly trip to church a time to share your deep love of God with everyone. Be the example of great it can be.
Also, don't forget, God wants you to feel joy!
Joy for God, joy for others, and joy in your own heart.
It does not matter what church you go to. If it feels right, it is right. That is where YOU are suppose to be. If others want in, let them, but don't go hounding people. Each person is on their own path. They will find their own home in due time. Over zealous pushy proselytizers push those teetering people further down the slope away from God. They fear your reasoning behind it and will not advance any further. Be kind. Be love. Be patient.
We will not all get it in this life time, but we will get it sometime.
Take care.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Today started out strange enough. I woke up to find about 10 to 12 chickens roaming around and out of their "chicken tractor". After rounding them up. Patching up the hole, I fed them. I then sat on the phone as I droved and listened to my MIL YELL about this and that. I was feeling unnerved by all that, had to down about 10 drops of tintures before I felt better. I then headed to the bank made a withdrawal and proceeded to make deposits around the area;Hy-Vee for fresh ground wheat, Whole Foods for everything else, Petsmart for 40lbs of dog food, and finally made it to my MIL's to pick up my Kombucha she makes and came home!
I then empty out the car, fed the chickens, watered them, and then emptied out my bags of groceries. Empty the dog food into their bin and began to make bread. It's in it's first rising right now. I am feeling wiped out right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK I had other things to do between the earlier paragraphs and now.
I am waiting for Sam to return home with our oldest son and muffin papers. I just took the burnt beans outside that tasted like an ash tray, and dumped them and cleaned up the pot and have beans soaking. I pulled out the very dusty crock pot to cook new beans while we are away tomorrow.
I also Baked 2 loves of bread. I love making bread. I love kneading it, even if I cannot eat it. I love it! They are pretty loaves if I say so myself.
Tomorrow is Challenge Air. This means we (the family) are volunteering. This is my first year, Sam and James did it first one year. Jonah went with them last year, and this year Zane and I will tag along. Should be interesting.
I have volunteered with dog surgeries with Spay and Neuter, never have I dealt with children with disabilities. I have steered clear of children with no disabilities, this is totally out of my comfort zone. It will be fine, but it will be new.
OK, I need to prepare my lunch for tomorrow. I have to eat something and although they feed you there, I cannot depend on others to feed me anymore. I have to many food allergies.
I felt like shit all week after eating at temple. The food was great, but it made me feel ill because I was not to eat it.
OK, it sounded like chicken noises outside. Have to check on my chickies..........make muffins, boil eggs.....etc.....
Life is great! :)
Tata.
I then empty out the car, fed the chickens, watered them, and then emptied out my bags of groceries. Empty the dog food into their bin and began to make bread. It's in it's first rising right now. I am feeling wiped out right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK I had other things to do between the earlier paragraphs and now.
I am waiting for Sam to return home with our oldest son and muffin papers. I just took the burnt beans outside that tasted like an ash tray, and dumped them and cleaned up the pot and have beans soaking. I pulled out the very dusty crock pot to cook new beans while we are away tomorrow.
I also Baked 2 loves of bread. I love making bread. I love kneading it, even if I cannot eat it. I love it! They are pretty loaves if I say so myself.
Tomorrow is Challenge Air. This means we (the family) are volunteering. This is my first year, Sam and James did it first one year. Jonah went with them last year, and this year Zane and I will tag along. Should be interesting.
I have volunteered with dog surgeries with Spay and Neuter, never have I dealt with children with disabilities. I have steered clear of children with no disabilities, this is totally out of my comfort zone. It will be fine, but it will be new.
OK, I need to prepare my lunch for tomorrow. I have to eat something and although they feed you there, I cannot depend on others to feed me anymore. I have to many food allergies.
I felt like shit all week after eating at temple. The food was great, but it made me feel ill because I was not to eat it.
OK, it sounded like chicken noises outside. Have to check on my chickies..........make muffins, boil eggs.....etc.....
Life is great! :)
Tata.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
It's 9pm, do you know where your husband is?
Yes, I do. Picking up our raw milk from his mother's house. He finally got off work and asked if the milk could wait. ARE YOU KIDDING? I tell him "no", and he dragged out a breathy sigh, "OK." Not at all what he wanted to hear.
The dogs are going crazy outside. Something about being dark makes Ann go into automatic bark sequence. Socrates (aka Soc) sits on the porch with a worried look and wants in. I let him in, but he wants back out because Ann is barking. Then he fears the darkness and wants back in. Back and forth my furry child goes. Slipping into fear and curiosity. A lot like myself. I venture off intot he unknown, only to find myself clawing my way back into the known, only to be reminded why I left and go back out into the unknown. At some point I "get it" but until I do, I look a lot like my pooch. In, out, in, out, in, out, in...........what shall I do??? Ok, let me back out.......ahhhhh, let me in, let me in, Damn it!
Ha, life!
I have been busy lately. I have the chickens I care for. I have the homeschooling. I have my Spiritual quest I am on. I have the French Club, playgroups, church, women's circle, house chores, yard chores, driving, grocery shopping, feed shopping for the animals, etc.....
I find time to slip off quick emails. I find time for quick phone chats. I find time at night to fall asleep, um, I mean read a book at night. I forget things though along the way. Like the other day I forgot to brush my teeth. Sometimes it's my hair, today it was everything BUT the teeth. I slipped out into the world with hair un-brushed, and body not showered. I had to get the boys out of the house for their Waldorf class. I had 2 hours to do these few things and the time slips away as you do them......
I got up and checked my email first thing. I can write before I can think or see in the morning ;)
I then got dressed. Slipped on my "farm" boots and took off to care for the chickens. I threw down straw in their traveling pen. I do this on Wednesdays because Sam cannot help me move them, he has an early morning meeting. I first had to look for the pitch fork. A little person ran off with it. 10 acres and a pitch fork...........OK, so I found the pitch fork. by now I am COLD. I thought my purple Tinker Bell sweatshirt would be enough on this chilly morning.....WRONG! I did not stop. I put down the hay. feed the birds, pulled out their water containers and about gagged. Some BIRD shit all over the handle. I used the pitchfork to carry that one to the hose, back at the house! To let you know where the birds are in relation to your suburban homes/yards, I am the third neighbor away from my birds. I walk all the way to their home and carry back 2 gallons of water to them 2 to 3 times a day. The hose water felt warm on my chilly hands, boy was I cold! Where was I....oh yes, shit covered water containers.....I hosed them off and filled them back up and walked them back. Button down the hatches and walked back into the house. I found my water boiling, poured it over my herbs and began to make lunches, breakfast, and feed the dogs. Each child has to have a certain type of canned soup. All want Wolfgang Puck's soup. I heat each soup and put it in the thermos. I pack them crackers, kids Cliff bars, fruit, ginger candies the kids call "Butthole Burners" and pop popcorn for a snack.
As this is going on I am changing out of my boots into other shoes. I help lost shoes find their feet. I help little boys busy looking through the new Cabela's catalog to get on track. I bark orders, I move around a lot. I rustle dogs in and out. I bark more orders and reminders. I state the time and how many more minutes until we leave. I rush here and there. I am up the stairs, down the stairs, in the basement, and back up. "Here we go Loopy loop" mutters my mumbling lips. I run through each room and shut off lights, grab important objects to take, fill the water bottle, grab my lunch, kids lunches, check the dogs water and food supply. Ask about the cat and her food, I make sure stove is off, everybody is fed (including myself) and we leave.
Now this is an easy day. I drive an hour and drop them off at class. I then head over to the Studio where my MIL is and we drive around buying incense, chat, have conversation with weirdos in the "witch store" and then come back to have lunch. I pick up the kids, drive another hour home and pick up MORE chicken feed on the way home.
Where was I going with this?? Oh, yes, see subject lines can keep the insane on target. Husbands.....
Who needs them?
LOL!!!!!
The dogs are going crazy outside. Something about being dark makes Ann go into automatic bark sequence. Socrates (aka Soc) sits on the porch with a worried look and wants in. I let him in, but he wants back out because Ann is barking. Then he fears the darkness and wants back in. Back and forth my furry child goes. Slipping into fear and curiosity. A lot like myself. I venture off intot he unknown, only to find myself clawing my way back into the known, only to be reminded why I left and go back out into the unknown. At some point I "get it" but until I do, I look a lot like my pooch. In, out, in, out, in, out, in...........what shall I do??? Ok, let me back out.......ahhhhh, let me in, let me in, Damn it!
Ha, life!
I have been busy lately. I have the chickens I care for. I have the homeschooling. I have my Spiritual quest I am on. I have the French Club, playgroups, church, women's circle, house chores, yard chores, driving, grocery shopping, feed shopping for the animals, etc.....
I find time to slip off quick emails. I find time for quick phone chats. I find time at night to fall asleep, um, I mean read a book at night. I forget things though along the way. Like the other day I forgot to brush my teeth. Sometimes it's my hair, today it was everything BUT the teeth. I slipped out into the world with hair un-brushed, and body not showered. I had to get the boys out of the house for their Waldorf class. I had 2 hours to do these few things and the time slips away as you do them......
I got up and checked my email first thing. I can write before I can think or see in the morning ;)
I then got dressed. Slipped on my "farm" boots and took off to care for the chickens. I threw down straw in their traveling pen. I do this on Wednesdays because Sam cannot help me move them, he has an early morning meeting. I first had to look for the pitch fork. A little person ran off with it. 10 acres and a pitch fork...........OK, so I found the pitch fork. by now I am COLD. I thought my purple Tinker Bell sweatshirt would be enough on this chilly morning.....WRONG! I did not stop. I put down the hay. feed the birds, pulled out their water containers and about gagged. Some BIRD shit all over the handle. I used the pitchfork to carry that one to the hose, back at the house! To let you know where the birds are in relation to your suburban homes/yards, I am the third neighbor away from my birds. I walk all the way to their home and carry back 2 gallons of water to them 2 to 3 times a day. The hose water felt warm on my chilly hands, boy was I cold! Where was I....oh yes, shit covered water containers.....I hosed them off and filled them back up and walked them back. Button down the hatches and walked back into the house. I found my water boiling, poured it over my herbs and began to make lunches, breakfast, and feed the dogs. Each child has to have a certain type of canned soup. All want Wolfgang Puck's soup. I heat each soup and put it in the thermos. I pack them crackers, kids Cliff bars, fruit, ginger candies the kids call "Butthole Burners" and pop popcorn for a snack.
As this is going on I am changing out of my boots into other shoes. I help lost shoes find their feet. I help little boys busy looking through the new Cabela's catalog to get on track. I bark orders, I move around a lot. I rustle dogs in and out. I bark more orders and reminders. I state the time and how many more minutes until we leave. I rush here and there. I am up the stairs, down the stairs, in the basement, and back up. "Here we go Loopy loop" mutters my mumbling lips. I run through each room and shut off lights, grab important objects to take, fill the water bottle, grab my lunch, kids lunches, check the dogs water and food supply. Ask about the cat and her food, I make sure stove is off, everybody is fed (including myself) and we leave.
Now this is an easy day. I drive an hour and drop them off at class. I then head over to the Studio where my MIL is and we drive around buying incense, chat, have conversation with weirdos in the "witch store" and then come back to have lunch. I pick up the kids, drive another hour home and pick up MORE chicken feed on the way home.
Where was I going with this?? Oh, yes, see subject lines can keep the insane on target. Husbands.....
Who needs them?
LOL!!!!!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Food
I went to Whole Foods last week, I go every week, but never had I had someone say anything to me about the amount I was buying. Last week I did. The cashier saw my cart load and asked me if I was "stocking up" at first I glared at him. "No" I said, "I am just doing my weekly shopping." In what sounded like an accusing tone looked strangely at me and said, "This is a week?" pointing to my ALL my food going across the conveyor belt. I looked up and said, "Yes, I have boys." His face took on the "knowing" of what that meant. The man bagging said, "the best thing about having boys is they grow up and take YOU out to dinner and PAY!"
Then up walks James, taller than me now. In his low voice tells me what is going on. The boys took their money and bought junk food. The cart load was not enough.
After this exchange I began to keep mental notes during the week and thinking of past weeks and what I should have bought in the way of food. This is what is normal in our home with 3 growing boys and a husband. Now remember I have food allergies and I do not eat any dairy what so ever, I eat no white potatoes, and I do not eat the bacon (allergic tot he spices), many of the cereals(allergic to wheat and grapes, usually sweetened with grape juice). I do not eat anything with wheat.
Gone between Friday afternoon to Thursday night, the kids call Friday "Starve day":
2 to 3 gallons of milk
1 to 2 packages of ice cream
1 package of frozen fruit for a smoothie
2 pounds of bacon
3 dozen eggs
1 to 2 loaves of bread
1 box of crackers (Ritz type from Whole Foods)
1 to 2 blocks of cheese
1- 5lb bag of white potatoes
LOTS of fresh fruit (this can be anything from 6 apples, 1 bunch of grapes, 3 grapefruit, and 4 to 5 peaches in a week)
3 to 6 cans of Mandarin oranges (2 cans a piece)
3 heads or more of Romain lettuce
1 bottle or more of salad dressing
3 to 5 boxes of cereal (various kinds)
homemade popcorn once a week with added cheese powder
1 jar of salsa
2 bags of corn chips
1 sour cream tub
1 block of cream cheese
1 ham
1 package of cheesy wieners
1 small jar of peanut butter or 2 weeks on a large one
This is NOT including dinners. This is strictly the extras I buy to keep people happy. What is more amazing they are not fat. The two that eat the most are the skinniest. The youngest is a bean pole and laughs about seeing his ribs and he packs away a ton of food. He's 6 yrs old and up to my boobs, OK, past them. He's soooo tall. Last year in Kindergarten he was taller than many of the 3rd graders.
I buy myself my rice milk and my 1 box of cereal I eat for dessert, but today the 12 yr old James ate 2 bowls of it and finished it off for me. This is Monday! I have to go until Friday afternoon before I can restock.
The fruity cereal is gone.
The peaches are gone.
A gallon of milk is gone.
1 dozen eggs and 1/2lb bacon is gone.
1/2 the ham is gone.
The salad......you guessed it........GONE
A little of the salad dressing is left.
I hide some food because I KNOW they need it for lunch once a week for a class. Otherwise it is consumed in a flash.
I know what my Father meant when the last son was born and he laughed a sinister laugh and spoke these very words, "Someday your grocery bill will resemble the national debt. These boys will eat you out of house and home. Yep, boys are Grocery Hounds."
Was it a curse or premonition? You decide.........................
.........until next time......send me some money! LOL!
Then up walks James, taller than me now. In his low voice tells me what is going on. The boys took their money and bought junk food. The cart load was not enough.
After this exchange I began to keep mental notes during the week and thinking of past weeks and what I should have bought in the way of food. This is what is normal in our home with 3 growing boys and a husband. Now remember I have food allergies and I do not eat any dairy what so ever, I eat no white potatoes, and I do not eat the bacon (allergic tot he spices), many of the cereals(allergic to wheat and grapes, usually sweetened with grape juice). I do not eat anything with wheat.
Gone between Friday afternoon to Thursday night, the kids call Friday "Starve day":
2 to 3 gallons of milk
1 to 2 packages of ice cream
1 package of frozen fruit for a smoothie
2 pounds of bacon
3 dozen eggs
1 to 2 loaves of bread
1 box of crackers (Ritz type from Whole Foods)
1 to 2 blocks of cheese
1- 5lb bag of white potatoes
LOTS of fresh fruit (this can be anything from 6 apples, 1 bunch of grapes, 3 grapefruit, and 4 to 5 peaches in a week)
3 to 6 cans of Mandarin oranges (2 cans a piece)
3 heads or more of Romain lettuce
1 bottle or more of salad dressing
3 to 5 boxes of cereal (various kinds)
homemade popcorn once a week with added cheese powder
1 jar of salsa
2 bags of corn chips
1 sour cream tub
1 block of cream cheese
1 ham
1 package of cheesy wieners
1 small jar of peanut butter or 2 weeks on a large one
This is NOT including dinners. This is strictly the extras I buy to keep people happy. What is more amazing they are not fat. The two that eat the most are the skinniest. The youngest is a bean pole and laughs about seeing his ribs and he packs away a ton of food. He's 6 yrs old and up to my boobs, OK, past them. He's soooo tall. Last year in Kindergarten he was taller than many of the 3rd graders.
I buy myself my rice milk and my 1 box of cereal I eat for dessert, but today the 12 yr old James ate 2 bowls of it and finished it off for me. This is Monday! I have to go until Friday afternoon before I can restock.
The fruity cereal is gone.
The peaches are gone.
A gallon of milk is gone.
1 dozen eggs and 1/2lb bacon is gone.
1/2 the ham is gone.
The salad......you guessed it........GONE
A little of the salad dressing is left.
I hide some food because I KNOW they need it for lunch once a week for a class. Otherwise it is consumed in a flash.
I know what my Father meant when the last son was born and he laughed a sinister laugh and spoke these very words, "Someday your grocery bill will resemble the national debt. These boys will eat you out of house and home. Yep, boys are Grocery Hounds."
Was it a curse or premonition? You decide.........................
.........until next time......send me some money! LOL!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
I'm here............
I was going to go to bed and spend some quality time talking to Sam. He fell asleep as I was talking about my day. He told me his, then KONK, he was out. So much for that. I go up and came in here. No mail, nothing to really look at online, not really in the mood to read. So, you get me. I am typing int he dark. Jonah is sleeping on the futon behind me. The living room is a wreck after school today. The desks are all still pulled out the chalk board still taking up space. No where to sit. My cord to the laptop is chewed up from Soc, that means I have to use the old computer he did not find as tasty. Anyhow, I have nothing to say really. Feeling a bit bummed. Just really wanted that time with him. Oh well, what can you do.
At least last night I was host to my womens group and I taught them about Krishna and then had a mini-kirtan with them, it was lovely. They really enjoyed it! We had a great time. They enjoyed their vegetarian feast I prepared. We had a great time. I wish I could have a great group of people around like that 3 times a week just for myself. I would have to get more sleep though if I was to keep that up.....LOL........I got home at 1am and was up by 6:30am I am tired right now. Think I should sleep. Not wander around in virtual space doing nothing.
Yes, yes, especially since I weeded some of the strawberry patch, laundry, dishes, cleaing the roll top desk, cooking dinner, homeschool, and chicken duty twice today....I think I should go to bed.
Night for now......tootles till next time.
At least last night I was host to my womens group and I taught them about Krishna and then had a mini-kirtan with them, it was lovely. They really enjoyed it! We had a great time. They enjoyed their vegetarian feast I prepared. We had a great time. I wish I could have a great group of people around like that 3 times a week just for myself. I would have to get more sleep though if I was to keep that up.....LOL........I got home at 1am and was up by 6:30am I am tired right now. Think I should sleep. Not wander around in virtual space doing nothing.
Yes, yes, especially since I weeded some of the strawberry patch, laundry, dishes, cleaing the roll top desk, cooking dinner, homeschool, and chicken duty twice today....I think I should go to bed.
Night for now......tootles till next time.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Tomorrow, I love ya, Tomorrow, you're only a day away.............
Last night I had a dream. It was nice. It was about my mysery man. I have this dream about this man every once in awhile. He is there, and so loving. So sweet. Ahhhh, love it!Thing is I don't see a face. I don't know his name, and I can really only feel his presence. We have never had sex, and it's weird. This is a dream apparition I have been having for 10 years now. Weird, eh?
So that was the beginning of my day, nice, eh?
After that I woke up and began my day of being what feels like a cog. I have to keep the machine running. Dishes, homeschool, feed chickens, clean inside and outside, feed chickens again, go buy feed for chickens, more dishes, cook and make more dishes (they are in the sink right now), read to the kids, send them to bed. Watch Sam come home and eat then nod off as I speak to him, check my email and then go to bed and wake up to do it all again in the same order. No, no, I don't hate it. I just want a fun vacation to throw it all off a bit. I love to cook. I love to read to the kids. I would like to read to them while sitting in a cabin and cooking over an open flame. I would love to sit in the mountains for a couple weeks and chill. I have not had my time away yet and it seems to be having an effect on me. Sam went to Boulder, camping for a week, and now he is talking about a business trip he needs to take to somewhere. He's going hunting this weekend. Ahhhhh.............I wanted to go to the Gaia Festival and camp, flooded out from Ike. :(
I did get a letter from a prisoner that my cousin said was a "nice guy." It reeked of cologne and he called himself the "N" word and he said I was sexy. Oh goody! I have not responded to him nor my cousin since. My cousin is not going anywhere for a few decades, he can wait! I do not take it so well my Cuz' gave my address to a Bro' from "d'hood" that was sentenced because of armed robbery. But remember that he is a "nice guy!" I have not told the family, and since they don't have i-net they will still not find out. I am sure he won't tell them...........LOL!
Where was I going here today?
I am not sure. I am pooped. I start to feel sorry for myself when I am tired.
OK Zane reminded me to check the chickens again. I need to plug in the light, feed, water, and then wait till morning!!! LOL......nutty laugh!!
Time for me to study for my womens group. I am discussing/teaching Krishna to them. Until next time.......tootles
So that was the beginning of my day, nice, eh?
After that I woke up and began my day of being what feels like a cog. I have to keep the machine running. Dishes, homeschool, feed chickens, clean inside and outside, feed chickens again, go buy feed for chickens, more dishes, cook and make more dishes (they are in the sink right now), read to the kids, send them to bed. Watch Sam come home and eat then nod off as I speak to him, check my email and then go to bed and wake up to do it all again in the same order. No, no, I don't hate it. I just want a fun vacation to throw it all off a bit. I love to cook. I love to read to the kids. I would like to read to them while sitting in a cabin and cooking over an open flame. I would love to sit in the mountains for a couple weeks and chill. I have not had my time away yet and it seems to be having an effect on me. Sam went to Boulder, camping for a week, and now he is talking about a business trip he needs to take to somewhere. He's going hunting this weekend. Ahhhhh.............I wanted to go to the Gaia Festival and camp, flooded out from Ike. :(
I did get a letter from a prisoner that my cousin said was a "nice guy." It reeked of cologne and he called himself the "N" word and he said I was sexy. Oh goody! I have not responded to him nor my cousin since. My cousin is not going anywhere for a few decades, he can wait! I do not take it so well my Cuz' gave my address to a Bro' from "d'hood" that was sentenced because of armed robbery. But remember that he is a "nice guy!" I have not told the family, and since they don't have i-net they will still not find out. I am sure he won't tell them...........LOL!
Where was I going here today?
I am not sure. I am pooped. I start to feel sorry for myself when I am tired.
OK Zane reminded me to check the chickens again. I need to plug in the light, feed, water, and then wait till morning!!! LOL......nutty laugh!!
Time for me to study for my womens group. I am discussing/teaching Krishna to them. Until next time.......tootles
Monday, September 15, 2008
hummmmm.....
Sometimes I wonder what possesses me to write some of the posts I do. I wonder what banshee took me over and caused me to form such pieces of "work." This is one mystery that will remain as such. I also wonder if I am even coherent in the "work."
I am always amazed when I have people tell me they LOVE my writing. This I find all to surprising. I base this on the fact I am not educated past the 12th grade. I base this on the fact even though I was educated to the 12th grade I found it meaningless and a grand waste of my time.
I base this on the fact I am someone that is not a ferocious reader, but a mediocre book worm. I base this on the fact I have not seen the world, nor do I tip-toe out to experience it much either. I am a wall flower for the most part. Timid. I am not your go-go getter gal. Nope, I am your "leave me alone I am looking into the stream at some frys (baby fish)" or " I am busy loving this strange smelly dog."
I like to cook, I like to shoot a 22 rifle just so I can prove I am a better shot than my husband who LOVES to shoot and does it more than I care too ( my kids call me Dead Eye Jane, and laugh at Dad secretly). I love to shoot arrows, but my arm does not like the sting the string strikes back with. I love to sit on a porch swing in a thick blanket and listen to the bugs making their mating calls at night with the cool air grazing and ticking my cheeks. I am simply simple. I am not an intellect, nor am I this or that. I am Gurgi. In the Prydain series written by Lloyd Alexander there is a part when the character Gurgi is described as being neither man nor beast. He is neither this nor that and does not really belong anywhere. That is how I feel. I am neither a Neanderthal than sits as a lump on the couch in front of the boob tube. Nor am I a Mensa genius that can rattle off pointless information about nothing. I am not business savvy, nor am I politically correct. One friend said I am "crass". No, no, crass is the old man term. I am not an old man! I only speak about how I see it. My brain also works very slowly around humans. I stutter, worse under stress. I cannot think. I stumble over the easiest of words. I am lost in space and I am stranded on earth gasping. Oh the torture...........yet I keep placing myself in these moments. I am also prone to getting excited too much or not excited enough and people take me the wrong way. People, oh people. The hardest thing in this world to understand. The hardest thing to relate to. Oh HUMANS, why oh why are they so hard for me to "just get?"
Oh well.
I think this calls for a Kombucha and a grapefruit. Drown my sorrow away with fruit and fermented tea. :)
I think I will watch the moon as I nibble and sip. Grandmother is spectacular this evening!
I am always amazed when I have people tell me they LOVE my writing. This I find all to surprising. I base this on the fact I am not educated past the 12th grade. I base this on the fact even though I was educated to the 12th grade I found it meaningless and a grand waste of my time.
I base this on the fact I am someone that is not a ferocious reader, but a mediocre book worm. I base this on the fact I have not seen the world, nor do I tip-toe out to experience it much either. I am a wall flower for the most part. Timid. I am not your go-go getter gal. Nope, I am your "leave me alone I am looking into the stream at some frys (baby fish)" or " I am busy loving this strange smelly dog."
I like to cook, I like to shoot a 22 rifle just so I can prove I am a better shot than my husband who LOVES to shoot and does it more than I care too ( my kids call me Dead Eye Jane, and laugh at Dad secretly). I love to shoot arrows, but my arm does not like the sting the string strikes back with. I love to sit on a porch swing in a thick blanket and listen to the bugs making their mating calls at night with the cool air grazing and ticking my cheeks. I am simply simple. I am not an intellect, nor am I this or that. I am Gurgi. In the Prydain series written by Lloyd Alexander there is a part when the character Gurgi is described as being neither man nor beast. He is neither this nor that and does not really belong anywhere. That is how I feel. I am neither a Neanderthal than sits as a lump on the couch in front of the boob tube. Nor am I a Mensa genius that can rattle off pointless information about nothing. I am not business savvy, nor am I politically correct. One friend said I am "crass". No, no, crass is the old man term. I am not an old man! I only speak about how I see it. My brain also works very slowly around humans. I stutter, worse under stress. I cannot think. I stumble over the easiest of words. I am lost in space and I am stranded on earth gasping. Oh the torture...........yet I keep placing myself in these moments. I am also prone to getting excited too much or not excited enough and people take me the wrong way. People, oh people. The hardest thing in this world to understand. The hardest thing to relate to. Oh HUMANS, why oh why are they so hard for me to "just get?"
Oh well.
I think this calls for a Kombucha and a grapefruit. Drown my sorrow away with fruit and fermented tea. :)
I think I will watch the moon as I nibble and sip. Grandmother is spectacular this evening!
Monday, July 28, 2008
Words and life.....
What is it about words?
Words are very important to our way of life. We need them to communicate. I read a lot, therefore, I need words, not pictures to tell me the story. Yet, sometimes I run across a new word in a book I am clueless about. Lets take the word uxorious, it means devoted to your wife. I did not know this, in fact, my husband did not know this either, and he is devoted to his lovely and beautiful wife.
I have never heard another human being use this word, not even my friends with Doctorates.
When I was a child I always wondered why all the adults spoke in BIG words that I did not understand. Overtime I learned these BIG words and use them myself. I use them on my children, I smear them around like icing on a cake. I do this without thought. I find also that I prefer NOT to use these words because I am a rebel at heart.
Words like PRAGMATIC, why say it when you can say PRACTICAL? Means the same, yet, we (English Speakers) love to lay it on thick. Some argue we have lost the art of speaking properly. Edith Wharton(1862- 1937) complained of this herself while she was alive. Her style of writing was to bring the art of communication back.
It is natural for language to change, but those sticklers to the rules have the hardest time with the natural evolution of language. Same with Fundamentalists with Human Evolution. Let's not go there.
Change happens, it can be seen as good or seen as bad. No matter how you feel, think, or what you wish it will happen. People will stop saying some words and begin to use new ones. You either grasp and hold on for the ride, or fall off into the old fuddy duddy trap. I straddle both words. I am neither one or the other. I remain Switzerland, sometimes.
This is why I am here today. I do not understand why we need so many BIG words to say the simple things we do. We, those of us in the Western culture, make life rather complicated.
Asinine: foolish, stupid, silly
Assimilate: blend, comprehend
Indignant: insulted, angry
Jovial: full of happiness
Do you see how we complicate our lives with words? We have words already to say how we feel and what we do, BUT we love Supersize our language.
"I was so jovial today while walking through the garden, then my asinine little brother came through lopped off all the blooms off the flowers. I was very indignant after that. Mother could not make her brain assimilate why he had done that. Father thought it was disgraceful. I decided to that all was not lost, so I made a chaplet for my head. I had enough for Mother, also."
"I was so happy today while walking through the garden, then my stupid little brother came through and chopped off all the blooms the flowers. I was very angry after that. Mother could not make her brain comprehend why he had done that. Father thought it was a shameful. I decided that all was not lost, so I made a wreath for my head. I had enough for Mother, also."
I said the same things, but one was complicated and one was simple.
We do the same things with our lives. We work and work to afford a dishwasher, so we can work less. We work and work for a clothes washer, so we can work less. Soon we are working and working more to pay someone to let us use their exercise equipment, because we no longer do laundry by hand and dishes by hand, nor make bread by hand, so our arms are flabby. But isn't great how we don't work so hard no more?
Does anyone else see how silly we humans are?
Did you know in American Sign Language they do not complicate their language? Anger is anger, by any other name, it is still anger. Happy is happy. You can call it whatever you want in our language, but in sign language it is still happy.
Stop being so pretentious and stop being so catty to people that do not use BIG words. They might be highly intelligent and think you are the ignorant one because you hide behind BIG words, instead of using simple language to express yourself.
Life is suppose to be simple, we make it complicated............think about that!
Words are very important to our way of life. We need them to communicate. I read a lot, therefore, I need words, not pictures to tell me the story. Yet, sometimes I run across a new word in a book I am clueless about. Lets take the word uxorious, it means devoted to your wife. I did not know this, in fact, my husband did not know this either, and he is devoted to his lovely and beautiful wife.
I have never heard another human being use this word, not even my friends with Doctorates.
When I was a child I always wondered why all the adults spoke in BIG words that I did not understand. Overtime I learned these BIG words and use them myself. I use them on my children, I smear them around like icing on a cake. I do this without thought. I find also that I prefer NOT to use these words because I am a rebel at heart.
Words like PRAGMATIC, why say it when you can say PRACTICAL? Means the same, yet, we (English Speakers) love to lay it on thick. Some argue we have lost the art of speaking properly. Edith Wharton(1862- 1937) complained of this herself while she was alive. Her style of writing was to bring the art of communication back.
It is natural for language to change, but those sticklers to the rules have the hardest time with the natural evolution of language. Same with Fundamentalists with Human Evolution. Let's not go there.
Change happens, it can be seen as good or seen as bad. No matter how you feel, think, or what you wish it will happen. People will stop saying some words and begin to use new ones. You either grasp and hold on for the ride, or fall off into the old fuddy duddy trap. I straddle both words. I am neither one or the other. I remain Switzerland, sometimes.
This is why I am here today. I do not understand why we need so many BIG words to say the simple things we do. We, those of us in the Western culture, make life rather complicated.
Asinine: foolish, stupid, silly
Assimilate: blend, comprehend
Indignant: insulted, angry
Jovial: full of happiness
Do you see how we complicate our lives with words? We have words already to say how we feel and what we do, BUT we love Supersize our language.
"I was so jovial today while walking through the garden, then my asinine little brother came through lopped off all the blooms off the flowers. I was very indignant after that. Mother could not make her brain assimilate why he had done that. Father thought it was disgraceful. I decided to that all was not lost, so I made a chaplet for my head. I had enough for Mother, also."
"I was so happy today while walking through the garden, then my stupid little brother came through and chopped off all the blooms the flowers. I was very angry after that. Mother could not make her brain comprehend why he had done that. Father thought it was a shameful. I decided that all was not lost, so I made a wreath for my head. I had enough for Mother, also."
I said the same things, but one was complicated and one was simple.
We do the same things with our lives. We work and work to afford a dishwasher, so we can work less. We work and work for a clothes washer, so we can work less. Soon we are working and working more to pay someone to let us use their exercise equipment, because we no longer do laundry by hand and dishes by hand, nor make bread by hand, so our arms are flabby. But isn't great how we don't work so hard no more?
Does anyone else see how silly we humans are?
Did you know in American Sign Language they do not complicate their language? Anger is anger, by any other name, it is still anger. Happy is happy. You can call it whatever you want in our language, but in sign language it is still happy.
Stop being so pretentious and stop being so catty to people that do not use BIG words. They might be highly intelligent and think you are the ignorant one because you hide behind BIG words, instead of using simple language to express yourself.
Life is suppose to be simple, we make it complicated............think about that!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
The power of connections
I just received a call from a friend that gave me some good news.
Here is the background story, so you can comprehend the importance of the news and why connections are important.
I seem to be very connected. Unknowingly so, nevertheless, connected.
I send out info and I stumble upon connections. It happened again tonight!
I have a male relative in prison in the state I live in. He is very far from me, so I have not been able to visit yet. I have since been ordained so I could be of some use for him. He has written me letters about how he wants to better himself and would be interested in any religious books I send. I had told him about the 'Gita and about the Krishna devotees. He wrote back saying he was interested in knowing about this, since he has so much time on his hands! He also told me he could have religious books, but not other books. I then go to my friend that use to be a monk and has many connections within the world of Krishna devotees. I told him about my relative and he told me he would give me some books for him. Free of charge, all I need to is pay for the shipping. I did this. i sent the books. I then received a phone call from another family member about how the prison confiscated the books because they were Hindu and not Christian like his paperwork had on it from when he was brought into the court system. They told him he could pay to send the books back, or have them confiscated and he would not be allowed to have them in his cell nor have to read. I then reported this back to my friends. This was a couple weeks ago. Through the "network" a social worker there at the prison happens to be sister to one of the devotees!! That was the call. My friend called me and asked for his name, they were working on how to get the books back into his hands.
I had no idea the connections, but they were there. I just simply spoke about the facts and let the Universe, Krishna, Goddess, God, Allah, whatever you call it, I let it happen.
I love living :)
Here is the background story, so you can comprehend the importance of the news and why connections are important.
I seem to be very connected. Unknowingly so, nevertheless, connected.
I send out info and I stumble upon connections. It happened again tonight!
I have a male relative in prison in the state I live in. He is very far from me, so I have not been able to visit yet. I have since been ordained so I could be of some use for him. He has written me letters about how he wants to better himself and would be interested in any religious books I send. I had told him about the 'Gita and about the Krishna devotees. He wrote back saying he was interested in knowing about this, since he has so much time on his hands! He also told me he could have religious books, but not other books. I then go to my friend that use to be a monk and has many connections within the world of Krishna devotees. I told him about my relative and he told me he would give me some books for him. Free of charge, all I need to is pay for the shipping. I did this. i sent the books. I then received a phone call from another family member about how the prison confiscated the books because they were Hindu and not Christian like his paperwork had on it from when he was brought into the court system. They told him he could pay to send the books back, or have them confiscated and he would not be allowed to have them in his cell nor have to read. I then reported this back to my friends. This was a couple weeks ago. Through the "network" a social worker there at the prison happens to be sister to one of the devotees!! That was the call. My friend called me and asked for his name, they were working on how to get the books back into his hands.
I had no idea the connections, but they were there. I just simply spoke about the facts and let the Universe, Krishna, Goddess, God, Allah, whatever you call it, I let it happen.
I love living :)
Friday, June 20, 2008
Children in the back seat chattering about a silly pretend world. The oldest in the seat beside me trying to explain mufflers and the environmental impact of "crappy old mufflers."
A CD is on the verge of being to loud, but it is alright with me because my memories are enjoying the jog into the past with the lyrics,
"Will the wind ever remember
The names it has blown in the past,
And with this crutch, its old age and its wisdom
It whispers, "No, this will be the last."
And The Wind Cries Mary."
All is well as I drive down the road. All is well and peaceful.
I take a moment to thank the Spiritual Powers that Be and let my soul grin with Motherly Delight!
It did not matter at that point the blueberry patch had no berries to pick after our hour long trip, it did not matter that I had gone the wrong way.
We were together, we were happy. The inside of the car was serene and I basked in the bliss of the rarity presented to me. The gift was given and savored.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
With an attitude of gratitude I slip off to bed and await another beautiful day tomorrow.
Yes, the Universe is kind and generous, you just need to pay attention.
Good Night!
A CD is on the verge of being to loud, but it is alright with me because my memories are enjoying the jog into the past with the lyrics,
"Will the wind ever remember
The names it has blown in the past,
And with this crutch, its old age and its wisdom
It whispers, "No, this will be the last."
And The Wind Cries Mary."
All is well as I drive down the road. All is well and peaceful.
I take a moment to thank the Spiritual Powers that Be and let my soul grin with Motherly Delight!
It did not matter at that point the blueberry patch had no berries to pick after our hour long trip, it did not matter that I had gone the wrong way.
We were together, we were happy. The inside of the car was serene and I basked in the bliss of the rarity presented to me. The gift was given and savored.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
With an attitude of gratitude I slip off to bed and await another beautiful day tomorrow.
Yes, the Universe is kind and generous, you just need to pay attention.
Good Night!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
A Indian/Hindu wedding
This past Sunday I went to an Indian/Hindu wedding. I was invited by three separate people, one finally being the Father of the Groom. He said to "please come and enjoy the festivities."
I had planned on going, Hubby on the other hand did not want to go. He said it felt wrong to go to a wedding where we did not know the Bride or the Groom. I told him it did not matter, because we know the Groom's parents and their friends, plus this was an enrichment opportunity. He only went because I told him there was going to be a feast afterward, plus my oldest wanted to see his friend and spend the night there after the wedding. His friend lives on the same land as the wedding party. It is 40 acres with 4 maybe 5, soon to be 6, Hindu families living there in different dwellings. Anyhow, I finally had a date for a function instead of going alone. I was thinking, before Hubby said yes, how I was going to explain the reason why Hubby did not show up when it was his day off and they knew this. Luckily he made a wise choice to join me. :)
It was the most different kind of wedding I have ever been too. I have been to boring Christian weddings (mine being one of them), I have been to boring and extremely long Catholic Mexican weddings, and I have been to Justice of the Peace outside weddings. They all paled in comparison to the Hindu wedding. This was the most sacred and beautiful wedding I have ever been to, even my own.
The seats were all set up like a big "U" around a square alter that was set up above the ground.
Inside the square was a smaller square that later contained a fire. Around the smaller square was the 2 Brahman (Hindu Priests) facing each other. The Bride and Groom sat together on one side next to the Brahmans. Before they sat down the Groom came out and sat down and waited for the Bride. She finally came out, but the Groom was not allowed to see her. Her bridesmaids kept her covered as she walked around the large square alter many times. We could see her, but he could not. As she made her rounds around the alter the crowd made noise and the Transcendental Conch Shells were being blown for her arrival. She wore a Red Sari, a gold headdress that came down over her part, her eyes were encrusted with jewels in arches above her eyebrows, Tilak painted very carefully on her forehead, feet and hands covered in henna art, jewelry clanking from her bell covered ankles to her bangle covered wrists, a Bindi on her forehead between her eyes, and a flower garland around her neck.
As I sit here with multiple distractions and feeling rather grumpy I will not go into all the details.
Anyhow, they had so many customs and they told the meanings behind each one, they were very informative.
I learned so much and enjoyed it so much, I want to be remarried with a deep sacredness to it.
It was not "tradition" for the sake of tradition. This was real meaning, it was sacred, it was deep. It was love, and beauty. It was so unlike the Western "Tradition".
I finally think this is my "church", going out there and chanting and learning all this is so exciting.
I think there is a lot to learn from this "tradition" that I can incorporate this into my life as it is now.
Not all religions and traditions are perfect, it is my job on this Earth to be responsible for myself and learn what I can, where I can, when it is time and available.
I am now giving up the idea of looking for someone to go with me. The right and perfect person will show when needed and go with me, or not. I can no longer wait for people to join me. Hubby has his own path, whatever that is, and I need to be patient with him. Oh my this is the hard part, LOL!
Anyhow, not myself tonight. Tired, pissy, and not 'on fire" with my writing, yet if I don't do it my thoughts build in my brain and I feel as though I will certainly go insane if I do not relieve pressure by "blabbing"..................
Now I will go read and think about something Hubby and I talked about the other day; Materialism.
Night!
I had planned on going, Hubby on the other hand did not want to go. He said it felt wrong to go to a wedding where we did not know the Bride or the Groom. I told him it did not matter, because we know the Groom's parents and their friends, plus this was an enrichment opportunity. He only went because I told him there was going to be a feast afterward, plus my oldest wanted to see his friend and spend the night there after the wedding. His friend lives on the same land as the wedding party. It is 40 acres with 4 maybe 5, soon to be 6, Hindu families living there in different dwellings. Anyhow, I finally had a date for a function instead of going alone. I was thinking, before Hubby said yes, how I was going to explain the reason why Hubby did not show up when it was his day off and they knew this. Luckily he made a wise choice to join me. :)
It was the most different kind of wedding I have ever been too. I have been to boring Christian weddings (mine being one of them), I have been to boring and extremely long Catholic Mexican weddings, and I have been to Justice of the Peace outside weddings. They all paled in comparison to the Hindu wedding. This was the most sacred and beautiful wedding I have ever been to, even my own.
The seats were all set up like a big "U" around a square alter that was set up above the ground.
Inside the square was a smaller square that later contained a fire. Around the smaller square was the 2 Brahman (Hindu Priests) facing each other. The Bride and Groom sat together on one side next to the Brahmans. Before they sat down the Groom came out and sat down and waited for the Bride. She finally came out, but the Groom was not allowed to see her. Her bridesmaids kept her covered as she walked around the large square alter many times. We could see her, but he could not. As she made her rounds around the alter the crowd made noise and the Transcendental Conch Shells were being blown for her arrival. She wore a Red Sari, a gold headdress that came down over her part, her eyes were encrusted with jewels in arches above her eyebrows, Tilak painted very carefully on her forehead, feet and hands covered in henna art, jewelry clanking from her bell covered ankles to her bangle covered wrists, a Bindi on her forehead between her eyes, and a flower garland around her neck.
As I sit here with multiple distractions and feeling rather grumpy I will not go into all the details.
Anyhow, they had so many customs and they told the meanings behind each one, they were very informative.
I learned so much and enjoyed it so much, I want to be remarried with a deep sacredness to it.
It was not "tradition" for the sake of tradition. This was real meaning, it was sacred, it was deep. It was love, and beauty. It was so unlike the Western "Tradition".
I finally think this is my "church", going out there and chanting and learning all this is so exciting.
I think there is a lot to learn from this "tradition" that I can incorporate this into my life as it is now.
Not all religions and traditions are perfect, it is my job on this Earth to be responsible for myself and learn what I can, where I can, when it is time and available.
I am now giving up the idea of looking for someone to go with me. The right and perfect person will show when needed and go with me, or not. I can no longer wait for people to join me. Hubby has his own path, whatever that is, and I need to be patient with him. Oh my this is the hard part, LOL!
Anyhow, not myself tonight. Tired, pissy, and not 'on fire" with my writing, yet if I don't do it my thoughts build in my brain and I feel as though I will certainly go insane if I do not relieve pressure by "blabbing"..................
Now I will go read and think about something Hubby and I talked about the other day; Materialism.
Night!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
What the.....goatee?
Hubby always stops shaving when he is on vacation. No matter if it is 2 days or 8, the razor sits in the drawer and the cream sits alone in the corner.
Last night he shaved to prepare himself for work today. I heard him in there for several minutes. I heard the water turn off and some other noises, and he began to walk down the hall. I stopped to look at his bare clean face and what did I see......a Goatee!
My first gut reaction was a strange one, to myself and the Hub. I gasped, covered my face and clinched my eyes shut. I let out a wailing sound of disgust and pain with 2 words, "EW! No!"
Hubby burst into laughter asking what was wrong. At the moment I could not tell what the problem was. I knew I wanted it off him right then! Every time I looked at him I made the same horrible noise and look of disgust. The sight of him was burning evil images into my retinas. Oh the hideous GOATEE! "Take it off" I wailed!
I know this is very hip with my age group. The 30 somethings and 40 somethings think this is "cool" and some how makes them look better.
I have not discussed this with any women, I find it better not to bring up the fact their husband looks goofy with this lonely patch of hair on his face. So I do not know how other women think, nor do I give it much thought. BUT when on my Hubby I gave it some serious gut reaction, YUK!
Here is why; It always looks as though a man just went down on a woman and came back up with his face covered in her hair, LOL! That is my goatee visual for today! Not to mention some mens faces are not shaped right for this hair placement.
Nor does this hair make people forget your head is balding.
This is, however, a great way for not so attractive men, or men with facial issues (moles and birthmarks) to cover such things.
But attractive men should leave the pussy hair on the pussy and not on their lips and chin!
BTW.....Hubby laughed all the way to the bathroom to shave it off, he came back and said, "well I didn't think it was that bad!"
Ugh, this coming from a man that use to wear Grass Green and Navy Blue Plain flannel shirt with a Blood Red T-Shirt underneath. Oh I stopped that right way. When I found out he was NOT colorblind, I told him there was no excuse for such color combinations! LOL!!!
Never a dull moment here ;)
Last night he shaved to prepare himself for work today. I heard him in there for several minutes. I heard the water turn off and some other noises, and he began to walk down the hall. I stopped to look at his bare clean face and what did I see......a Goatee!
My first gut reaction was a strange one, to myself and the Hub. I gasped, covered my face and clinched my eyes shut. I let out a wailing sound of disgust and pain with 2 words, "EW! No!"
Hubby burst into laughter asking what was wrong. At the moment I could not tell what the problem was. I knew I wanted it off him right then! Every time I looked at him I made the same horrible noise and look of disgust. The sight of him was burning evil images into my retinas. Oh the hideous GOATEE! "Take it off" I wailed!
I know this is very hip with my age group. The 30 somethings and 40 somethings think this is "cool" and some how makes them look better.
I have not discussed this with any women, I find it better not to bring up the fact their husband looks goofy with this lonely patch of hair on his face. So I do not know how other women think, nor do I give it much thought. BUT when on my Hubby I gave it some serious gut reaction, YUK!
Here is why; It always looks as though a man just went down on a woman and came back up with his face covered in her hair, LOL! That is my goatee visual for today! Not to mention some mens faces are not shaped right for this hair placement.
Nor does this hair make people forget your head is balding.
This is, however, a great way for not so attractive men, or men with facial issues (moles and birthmarks) to cover such things.
But attractive men should leave the pussy hair on the pussy and not on their lips and chin!
BTW.....Hubby laughed all the way to the bathroom to shave it off, he came back and said, "well I didn't think it was that bad!"
Ugh, this coming from a man that use to wear Grass Green and Navy Blue Plain flannel shirt with a Blood Red T-Shirt underneath. Oh I stopped that right way. When I found out he was NOT colorblind, I told him there was no excuse for such color combinations! LOL!!!
Never a dull moment here ;)
Monday, June 16, 2008
My man is back!!
OK, so maybe I missed him more than I thought, but I am already thinking he needs to go back to work.
He got home late Saturday morning. Took forever for us to get going, but we finally managed to get out of the house and visit with my parents for awhile. We made dinner for them, had ice cream for dessert, and then left he kids there for the night.
I was driving and I saw the exit for the Arboretum and took it. We got there just 30 minutes before the gate closed. We got out and took a 45 minute stroll, OK we actually took time to make out in shady places. We quit when a huge blood-sucker made my arm dinner.
When we got home we sat out on the porch swing and enjoyed each other. Then I had a light bulb moment! Just days earlier I hung my red beaded mosquito net on the porch. I talked Hubby into getting snugly inside it. I grabbed a beach blanket and used it to keep bugs out from underneath the porch. Hubby ran and got an air mattress and sleeping bag. I grabbed one of the kids super hero comforters that NEVER get used, and actually we used 2. One for more squish, and another for the top. I grabbed 4 pillows and we were set. The Goddess Shrine was ready. The night was perfect. It was not hot, nor too cool. There was a gentle breeze.
I don't know when we drifted off together, but I know at 1 am Hubby jumped up and left. I woke up and did the "***piff*** wimp" thought. I tried to go back to sleep, but it was no use. My 30 something bones were telling to stop lying there and head up to my pillow top mattress!!! I was determined to sleep outside.
Here comes Hubby. He was covered in welts. Bugs had eaten him from the outside because his skin was touching the netting. I was not touching the netting and had a blanket on also. He did not. He was eaten alive, literally. He wanted me to come in. He feared I was next. I laughed. I came in only because my bones were not happy with me.
It was so beautiful while it lasted, but the new has worn off!
Today Hubby laughed and said, "well I think it has happened, I need to go back to work, you've had enough"
HA HA! It is so great he understands me so well that he does not take it personally. I can only handle so much and then I need my space, no matter how much I adore you!
With that said, I am going to go to bed and adore him some more before he goes to work in the morning.
Tootles!
He got home late Saturday morning. Took forever for us to get going, but we finally managed to get out of the house and visit with my parents for awhile. We made dinner for them, had ice cream for dessert, and then left he kids there for the night.
I was driving and I saw the exit for the Arboretum and took it. We got there just 30 minutes before the gate closed. We got out and took a 45 minute stroll, OK we actually took time to make out in shady places. We quit when a huge blood-sucker made my arm dinner.
When we got home we sat out on the porch swing and enjoyed each other. Then I had a light bulb moment! Just days earlier I hung my red beaded mosquito net on the porch. I talked Hubby into getting snugly inside it. I grabbed a beach blanket and used it to keep bugs out from underneath the porch. Hubby ran and got an air mattress and sleeping bag. I grabbed one of the kids super hero comforters that NEVER get used, and actually we used 2. One for more squish, and another for the top. I grabbed 4 pillows and we were set. The Goddess Shrine was ready. The night was perfect. It was not hot, nor too cool. There was a gentle breeze.
I don't know when we drifted off together, but I know at 1 am Hubby jumped up and left. I woke up and did the "***piff*** wimp" thought. I tried to go back to sleep, but it was no use. My 30 something bones were telling to stop lying there and head up to my pillow top mattress!!! I was determined to sleep outside.
Here comes Hubby. He was covered in welts. Bugs had eaten him from the outside because his skin was touching the netting. I was not touching the netting and had a blanket on also. He did not. He was eaten alive, literally. He wanted me to come in. He feared I was next. I laughed. I came in only because my bones were not happy with me.
It was so beautiful while it lasted, but the new has worn off!
Today Hubby laughed and said, "well I think it has happened, I need to go back to work, you've had enough"
HA HA! It is so great he understands me so well that he does not take it personally. I can only handle so much and then I need my space, no matter how much I adore you!
With that said, I am going to go to bed and adore him some more before he goes to work in the morning.
Tootles!
Friday, June 13, 2008
TGIF
I have reached Friday. No Hubby and no oldest child. It was weird, to say the least. I think I handled it remarkably well. I hate to say this out loud, but I have not missed my Hubby. I miss my Oldest, not that he has much to do with me these days. I am not longer cool, hip, and all that. He always thought I was trying to be something I shouldn't. An old fashioned soul that one, he better change or become a fundamentalists, or he will not fit in with the modern woman someday.
I am more worried about my Oldest than anything. He is at Boy Scout Camp, the night after those Scouts in Iowa were killed a tornado whipped through the town his camp is located, with touch down. I have yet to hear about it, my Hubby called 2 hours after it happened to say they were OK and He loved me and hung up. Their are 800 campers there all needing to call home.
Anyhow, as for the missing part. I find this odd. Then again, I do not find it too odd. I grew accustomed to Hubby being away when he was in the Navy. That was a long time ago, and since then I found it very difficult with him away. But this time I did not find myself yearning for him. I found myself not even thinking of him. I was preoccupied with other things.
Now, I know him well after 15 years of marriage, if I was gone he would tell me how much he missed me lying next to him in bed.
I found myself enjoying the fact I had no one saying, "turn off that light" and making weird obnoxious noises from their head, and no one groping me. Ahhhhh.............it was a breath of fresh air!
Do I want to leave him? No, I just needed space, a time to myself. No man bugging me about sex, no one snoring, and no one telling to turn off my light while I read!
This is why you see old people with separate rooms. :)
My younger two are watching Savage Sam. I have been letting them watch a movie before bed every night with Dad and Bubby gone.
Dad would complain they are up to late and Bubby would be pissed they are in the computer room while he is listening to music and IMing his buddy.
I heard back from the school. My oldest does not have a class this coming Fall. Back to homeschooling. I am actually, Hubby does not know yet, looking into places to relocate too.
North Carolina and Wisconsin seem the most promising. My middle child is pissed about this idea. He wants to stay here and go to school with his friends. My youngest is all for it. The place in NC is 3 hours from Myrtle Beach. The place in Wisconsin is gorgeous with greenery everywhere! I still need to talk to Hubby and Son. Then go from there. Nothing is set in stone, ever!
My MIL wants to be the teacher, and we pay her. I am thinking her price is very high. Not to mention all the supplies we need to buy. I think she is not being realistic here. The school deferred those costs out, and I was not stuck with it all. We paid a supplies fee, but they made bulk orders and it cost a lot less, plus they got the discount and the tax free for being a 501 3c.
I do not have those things. Also I think my oldest might throw a fit knowing it is Grandma as teacher, LOL. She even said Hubby might throw a fit because he remembers her as his homeschool teacher! LOL!
So much to do, think, and all that jazz.
Instead I think i will go watch a movie with youngest, drink my herbs and do Sudoku with my light on :)
I am more worried about my Oldest than anything. He is at Boy Scout Camp, the night after those Scouts in Iowa were killed a tornado whipped through the town his camp is located, with touch down. I have yet to hear about it, my Hubby called 2 hours after it happened to say they were OK and He loved me and hung up. Their are 800 campers there all needing to call home.
Anyhow, as for the missing part. I find this odd. Then again, I do not find it too odd. I grew accustomed to Hubby being away when he was in the Navy. That was a long time ago, and since then I found it very difficult with him away. But this time I did not find myself yearning for him. I found myself not even thinking of him. I was preoccupied with other things.
Now, I know him well after 15 years of marriage, if I was gone he would tell me how much he missed me lying next to him in bed.
I found myself enjoying the fact I had no one saying, "turn off that light" and making weird obnoxious noises from their head, and no one groping me. Ahhhhh.............it was a breath of fresh air!
Do I want to leave him? No, I just needed space, a time to myself. No man bugging me about sex, no one snoring, and no one telling to turn off my light while I read!
This is why you see old people with separate rooms. :)
My younger two are watching Savage Sam. I have been letting them watch a movie before bed every night with Dad and Bubby gone.
Dad would complain they are up to late and Bubby would be pissed they are in the computer room while he is listening to music and IMing his buddy.
I heard back from the school. My oldest does not have a class this coming Fall. Back to homeschooling. I am actually, Hubby does not know yet, looking into places to relocate too.
North Carolina and Wisconsin seem the most promising. My middle child is pissed about this idea. He wants to stay here and go to school with his friends. My youngest is all for it. The place in NC is 3 hours from Myrtle Beach. The place in Wisconsin is gorgeous with greenery everywhere! I still need to talk to Hubby and Son. Then go from there. Nothing is set in stone, ever!
My MIL wants to be the teacher, and we pay her. I am thinking her price is very high. Not to mention all the supplies we need to buy. I think she is not being realistic here. The school deferred those costs out, and I was not stuck with it all. We paid a supplies fee, but they made bulk orders and it cost a lot less, plus they got the discount and the tax free for being a 501 3c.
I do not have those things. Also I think my oldest might throw a fit knowing it is Grandma as teacher, LOL. She even said Hubby might throw a fit because he remembers her as his homeschool teacher! LOL!
So much to do, think, and all that jazz.
Instead I think i will go watch a movie with youngest, drink my herbs and do Sudoku with my light on :)
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
The number 4
I love the number 4. I had this thought while driving home tonight, and I felt compelled to tell no one and also to tell everyone. This is a blog! LOL!
So what is up with a simple number 4? Let me tell you, it sounds great with any other number and stands alone nicely too. It's like a pair of brown or black garment or shoes, it goes with everything.
That is the number 4..............
.....on a differnt note............
Tonight I went to a Multi-cultural meeting. It was very intersting. I enjoyed myself. I really did.
No nude dacing for this chic tonight, but hey, maybe someday again..........LOL!
OK I really need to head to bed and do Sudoku and drink my herbs.
My only problem with this whole thing is this, I like these meetings. I want to seak up, but I am an introverted thinker.
In short I take it all in, like a sponge. Then I get home, wring it out into the basin and sort through all the soakings. Then I think about each one carefully. I drive myself mad and everyone else around me as I sort through my scattered thoughts. Then I begin to form them back together. Then I desperately want someone to talk to about it and they are already thinking about hte new subject. So I hunt down my husband and pounce on him with my thoughts. He struggles free, gasps for air and says, "I don't know what you are talking about!!!"
Sigh...............
no really, I am going to bed now.................
And I am not using spell checker, too damn late!
So what is up with a simple number 4? Let me tell you, it sounds great with any other number and stands alone nicely too. It's like a pair of brown or black garment or shoes, it goes with everything.
That is the number 4..............
.....on a differnt note............
Tonight I went to a Multi-cultural meeting. It was very intersting. I enjoyed myself. I really did.
No nude dacing for this chic tonight, but hey, maybe someday again..........LOL!
OK I really need to head to bed and do Sudoku and drink my herbs.
My only problem with this whole thing is this, I like these meetings. I want to seak up, but I am an introverted thinker.
In short I take it all in, like a sponge. Then I get home, wring it out into the basin and sort through all the soakings. Then I think about each one carefully. I drive myself mad and everyone else around me as I sort through my scattered thoughts. Then I begin to form them back together. Then I desperately want someone to talk to about it and they are already thinking about hte new subject. So I hunt down my husband and pounce on him with my thoughts. He struggles free, gasps for air and says, "I don't know what you are talking about!!!"
Sigh...............
no really, I am going to bed now.................
And I am not using spell checker, too damn late!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Life lessons
I am finding it so interesting how life works. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one paying attention. Sometimes I wish I was paying better attention and had more faith.
Right now I am watching all kinds of drama unfold. I am having a tough time remembering to not sink into the drama and have faith it will all work out in the end.
What happened?
In short, the funding was pulled from my oldest son's class. This funding kept the school above water. Without it there was not going to be a class. The people that were giving the large donation decided to quit and take their child out of the school for next year. Where does that leave myself and the other parents? Up shit creek with a hole in the boat and no paddle to boot.
We had a very long meeting with the Board and Faculty. Finally I asked the teacher (our class teacher) to leave the room, he did. All the parents then went into why he was not a good teacher. No he was not a good teacher, I agree, but I also was to damn scared before to say so because finding someone to be a teacher to a mixed aged class and in small town Ks town, well, you can see what I mean. But after the funds were gone and the school wanted to know how to keep the teacher we all stood up and said, "NO!"
Where does the life lessons come into play?
I have been observing patterns I have seen in past relationships that went sour taking place right before my eyes between other people. I can now stand back and say, "humm, I see that she is lying and he is clueless and oh, wait, everybody put him on the pedestal, oooo.."
I abhor the "pedestal!"
You want disappointment that will crush your soul and make you feel completely depleted put someone on a pedestal. Crown them and call them the Almighty Lord and know they will do not wrong because you put them there, how could it be??
Priest were put on the pedestal.
Doctors, police, and judges.
too much power given away and people lose their minds when they are given that much power. Absolutely lose their minds. Can't think, forget how to be human and think with their hearts. They begin to wander and stray into territories of absolute lack of judgement, step over the line of "out of character" and abuse the power bestowed upon them.
Give a mortal power of the pedestal and you will surely be greatly disappointed in time.
I have also noticed how when people put these "Gods" on the pedestal they can do no wrong in their eyes and when people find out they did wrong they deny it. Everybody else is wrong and therefor should be dealt with. This person then will lash out, ignore, be passive-aggressive, and/or all of these things at once. I have also learned it is best to let the Worshipers find out on their own or have enough people to join you in tearing down the pedestal and making the God a simple screwed up Man. If you don't have enough people, then you are simply screwed yourself. You will be considered the Taliban and will be shunned.
This is why I kept my mouth shut, this teacher was a God on a pedestal by the Faculty and Board.
I had to wait until enough parents got together and spoke about how they did not approve of his ways. We then brought down the house of worship swiftly. TNT baby!
He will be leaving and now we must figure out what to do. We have options like find a new teacher, not many Steiner trained teachers around here that are unemployed. Another option is homeschool co-op.
We have a couple months to think about this.
Until then I will remind myself to have faith that the best possible situation will happen. I will also remember my lessons I have learned from failed relationships of the past. They have served me well this week :)
Right now I am watching all kinds of drama unfold. I am having a tough time remembering to not sink into the drama and have faith it will all work out in the end.
What happened?
In short, the funding was pulled from my oldest son's class. This funding kept the school above water. Without it there was not going to be a class. The people that were giving the large donation decided to quit and take their child out of the school for next year. Where does that leave myself and the other parents? Up shit creek with a hole in the boat and no paddle to boot.
We had a very long meeting with the Board and Faculty. Finally I asked the teacher (our class teacher) to leave the room, he did. All the parents then went into why he was not a good teacher. No he was not a good teacher, I agree, but I also was to damn scared before to say so because finding someone to be a teacher to a mixed aged class and in small town Ks town, well, you can see what I mean. But after the funds were gone and the school wanted to know how to keep the teacher we all stood up and said, "NO!"
Where does the life lessons come into play?
I have been observing patterns I have seen in past relationships that went sour taking place right before my eyes between other people. I can now stand back and say, "humm, I see that she is lying and he is clueless and oh, wait, everybody put him on the pedestal, oooo.."
I abhor the "pedestal!"
You want disappointment that will crush your soul and make you feel completely depleted put someone on a pedestal. Crown them and call them the Almighty Lord and know they will do not wrong because you put them there, how could it be??
Priest were put on the pedestal.
Doctors, police, and judges.
too much power given away and people lose their minds when they are given that much power. Absolutely lose their minds. Can't think, forget how to be human and think with their hearts. They begin to wander and stray into territories of absolute lack of judgement, step over the line of "out of character" and abuse the power bestowed upon them.
Give a mortal power of the pedestal and you will surely be greatly disappointed in time.
I have also noticed how when people put these "Gods" on the pedestal they can do no wrong in their eyes and when people find out they did wrong they deny it. Everybody else is wrong and therefor should be dealt with. This person then will lash out, ignore, be passive-aggressive, and/or all of these things at once. I have also learned it is best to let the Worshipers find out on their own or have enough people to join you in tearing down the pedestal and making the God a simple screwed up Man. If you don't have enough people, then you are simply screwed yourself. You will be considered the Taliban and will be shunned.
This is why I kept my mouth shut, this teacher was a God on a pedestal by the Faculty and Board.
I had to wait until enough parents got together and spoke about how they did not approve of his ways. We then brought down the house of worship swiftly. TNT baby!
He will be leaving and now we must figure out what to do. We have options like find a new teacher, not many Steiner trained teachers around here that are unemployed. Another option is homeschool co-op.
We have a couple months to think about this.
Until then I will remind myself to have faith that the best possible situation will happen. I will also remember my lessons I have learned from failed relationships of the past. They have served me well this week :)
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Vain
Who doesn't hear the words to Carly Simons song, "You're so vain, you think this song is about you don't you?", when you see or hear the word vain?
I am hear today, almost 1 year since my last post to talk about the word VAIN.
What is vain? The Merriam-Webster dictionary says:
1: having no real value : idle, worthless2: marked by futility or ineffectualness : unsuccessful, useless 3archaic : foolish, silly4: having or showing undue or excessive pride in one's appearance or achievements
With that said I want to talk about what I see as vain.
What has no real value in our world?
This thing that has no real value also causes excessive pride in one's appearance, this also leads to something else, people acting silly and foolish about this one thing.
Are you thinking about it? What is this thing? Do you know? I bet you have one, I know I do.
A lawn of green grass.
That is right a lawn of grass is vain. People have idol worship of their lawn and get all geeky and freaked out if you mess it up. They spend thousands on chemicals that kill all living organisms and "weeds" (aka, wild flowers) to prevent their lawn from looking anything less than perfect. You can't walk on it, play on it, it is just for show. People come by and say, "oh Bill what a nice lawn, looks so much better than anyone elses on the block, so green and manicured"
That same acre of useless green lawn space could be used to feed the block. The grass can't even reach it's full God given right to fullfill it's purpose of feeding wild life with it's seed, city ordinaces say we must chop it off, and the devil himself Home Associations say you must keep it at a certain legnth.
How did such a sin get over looked by the people that thump their bibles every Wednesday and Sunday?
Yes, folks, a sin. Vainty is a sin. Green lawns that serve no purpose but to be useless pads to soak up your chemical conncotions and kill off the Earth from your chemical run off, is a sin.
Think about that the next time you call Scotts out to spray your lawn, your perfect green useless lawn and your ego swells from foolish pride of a lot of green that you did nothing to enrich the lives around you. Think about that sin of Vanity you commit every single day.
Think about now how to stop this foolishness and pride.
Grow food!
Salad, turnips, parsnips, watermeleon, green beans and fruits!
Oh think of the things you could grow and the people that would be happy to eat it and the pride from real work on something doing real good. Stop the poison.
Stop the green lawns.
GROW FOOD!
I am hear today, almost 1 year since my last post to talk about the word VAIN.
What is vain? The Merriam-Webster dictionary says:
1: having no real value : idle, worthless
With that said I want to talk about what I see as vain.
What has no real value in our world?
This thing that has no real value also causes excessive pride in one's appearance, this also leads to something else, people acting silly and foolish about this one thing.
Are you thinking about it? What is this thing? Do you know? I bet you have one, I know I do.
A lawn of green grass.
That is right a lawn of grass is vain. People have idol worship of their lawn and get all geeky and freaked out if you mess it up. They spend thousands on chemicals that kill all living organisms and "weeds" (aka, wild flowers) to prevent their lawn from looking anything less than perfect. You can't walk on it, play on it, it is just for show. People come by and say, "oh Bill what a nice lawn, looks so much better than anyone elses on the block, so green and manicured"
That same acre of useless green lawn space could be used to feed the block. The grass can't even reach it's full God given right to fullfill it's purpose of feeding wild life with it's seed, city ordinaces say we must chop it off, and the devil himself Home Associations say you must keep it at a certain legnth.
How did such a sin get over looked by the people that thump their bibles every Wednesday and Sunday?
Yes, folks, a sin. Vainty is a sin. Green lawns that serve no purpose but to be useless pads to soak up your chemical conncotions and kill off the Earth from your chemical run off, is a sin.
Think about that the next time you call Scotts out to spray your lawn, your perfect green useless lawn and your ego swells from foolish pride of a lot of green that you did nothing to enrich the lives around you. Think about that sin of Vanity you commit every single day.
Think about now how to stop this foolishness and pride.
Grow food!
Salad, turnips, parsnips, watermeleon, green beans and fruits!
Oh think of the things you could grow and the people that would be happy to eat it and the pride from real work on something doing real good. Stop the poison.
Stop the green lawns.
GROW FOOD!
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