This week my husband I sat down to go over our birth charts and to talk about the children's as well. It is good to remind ourselves that some of our children's quirks are guided by the stars, moons, and planets above. It helps to take the stress off dealing with them. As one is an airhead, one is moody, and one is completely concerned with his looks and nothing else. It was the part when we got to ourselves that I actually had a twinge I wanted to be someone else.
My husband has a sign that makes the opposite sex swoon for him and boy howdy do they! His sign also brought up already known knowledge that he is not a communicator and how everybody loved him! Again, not news to me. When I heard mine I wanted to push my husband out of his spot and take it over.
"often feel a little "different" or "special" throughout life. They often feel like they are on the outside looking in"
I often feel like the odd duck. Not athletic nor does my body reflect that. Not boisterous and outgoing. Not humble and plain. Not religious, pious, or celibate. I have never really known my "place" in the scheme of thing. I hang out with women and think, "I am not like them." I hang out with men and think, "I am soooo not like them!!!" I hang out with kids and say, "Ahhhhh, get me the fuck out of here!!!" and don't get me started on smelly old people with bad attitudes.
I am not a crunchy granola type either. I like whole fresh foods and low sugar and I LOVE meat and I LOVE veggies. I crave coconut anything; oil, milk, flakes, etc... I don't recycle everything but I do not use poisons and I never buy paper towels or use chemicals. I am not either one or the other. I am me. I should be happy with my original self but it would be nice to have people drool over me like they do hubby and it would be nice to not be referred as the "weird one." It would be nice to have people praise me like they do my hubby when he walks in the room like people do to me when I walk into his territory.
Is there a solution here? Yes, for me to quit giving a flying fuck and move on. Stop having unrealistic expectations. Like stop expecting my son to give up his fashion sense because it drives me crazy helping him find the right clothes. Stop expecting my airy fluffy "uh, did you say something?" son to balance out and get grounded to Earth. Stop expecting my watery, bitchy moody, and bossy son to be placid, calm, and reserved, sometimes. Stop expecting I can change the girl that sat for hours, days, and weeks with a fringe pillow balanced on her head to watch TV. Stop expecting my flair for unusual and non-typical white folk clothing to abruptly change to calm beiges and creams with a side of dark navy blue. Stop expecting my body shape will change, or my feet will be less wide and duck like, or I will finally get graceful and not lumbering.
I am the bull in the china cabinet, the witch with a wart, the odd duck, the ungraceful ballerina, the hopeless romantic, the jeans with the fly sewn shut, and the moth in the cupboard. I am not perfect. I can only be me and that is good enough. That is the only thing I can be. I am stuck with me, like it or not. I might as well learn to like, er, I mean, LOVE ME!
My husband has a sign that makes the opposite sex swoon for him and boy howdy do they! His sign also brought up already known knowledge that he is not a communicator and how everybody loved him! Again, not news to me. When I heard mine I wanted to push my husband out of his spot and take it over.
"often feel a little "different" or "special" throughout life. They often feel like they are on the outside looking in"
I often feel like the odd duck. Not athletic nor does my body reflect that. Not boisterous and outgoing. Not humble and plain. Not religious, pious, or celibate. I have never really known my "place" in the scheme of thing. I hang out with women and think, "I am not like them." I hang out with men and think, "I am soooo not like them!!!" I hang out with kids and say, "Ahhhhh, get me the fuck out of here!!!" and don't get me started on smelly old people with bad attitudes.
I am not a crunchy granola type either. I like whole fresh foods and low sugar and I LOVE meat and I LOVE veggies. I crave coconut anything; oil, milk, flakes, etc... I don't recycle everything but I do not use poisons and I never buy paper towels or use chemicals. I am not either one or the other. I am me. I should be happy with my original self but it would be nice to have people drool over me like they do hubby and it would be nice to not be referred as the "weird one." It would be nice to have people praise me like they do my hubby when he walks in the room like people do to me when I walk into his territory.
Is there a solution here? Yes, for me to quit giving a flying fuck and move on. Stop having unrealistic expectations. Like stop expecting my son to give up his fashion sense because it drives me crazy helping him find the right clothes. Stop expecting my airy fluffy "uh, did you say something?" son to balance out and get grounded to Earth. Stop expecting my watery, bitchy moody, and bossy son to be placid, calm, and reserved, sometimes. Stop expecting I can change the girl that sat for hours, days, and weeks with a fringe pillow balanced on her head to watch TV. Stop expecting my flair for unusual and non-typical white folk clothing to abruptly change to calm beiges and creams with a side of dark navy blue. Stop expecting my body shape will change, or my feet will be less wide and duck like, or I will finally get graceful and not lumbering.
I am the bull in the china cabinet, the witch with a wart, the odd duck, the ungraceful ballerina, the hopeless romantic, the jeans with the fly sewn shut, and the moth in the cupboard. I am not perfect. I can only be me and that is good enough. That is the only thing I can be. I am stuck with me, like it or not. I might as well learn to like, er, I mean, LOVE ME!
No comments:
Post a Comment