Today I saw a look that I have been given so many times before by different people in my life. I call it "the look" because this the only description I can give for what happens when some people talk to me. I now understand what "the look" means. For years I was not sure why people would look that way at me. It was not until a couple brave people spoke about "the look" that it finally was understood.
I was always getting "the look" from my painting/artist mentor. One day when she walked around to my easel and saw what I was doing she gasped and said, "All those times I was talking I thought you were not getting it and you got it all!"
Another time someone in my life read something I had written and said to me in amazement, "I did not know you were so intelligent." I still get "the look" from this person. I think they have forgotten what I had written that awed them so.
I get a lot. I hear between the lines. I see the unseen. I observe. I connect on levels most people cannot begin to think about. I am aware. I am not dim witted and dull. I get it and so much more. The problems lies with the fact I have had years and years of training of pretending to be dumb because it was safer to be dumb than smart. I saw how people treated smart kids and I was not going to have any part of that! I kept my poetry writing a secret, my Shakespeare reading in the dark, my love of learning to myself. I often hear from folks that hold their intelligence, or the intelligence they think they have, in very high esteem look down upon me and say, "you read that book? I even had a hard time understanding it." As if I was not capable of grasping the knowledge bestowed within the pages!
What most people, or all, may not know is I have had my IQ tested more than once. Three times to be exact. Yes, each time I got something different, but it was never lower than 140. Not Mensa quality mind you but none too shabby either. Each time I had myself tested they all said the same, "Would be higher if math scores were improved." My poor math scores are terribly low, retarded person low. I cannot grasp it. Not sure why, but sadly my son has the same issue.
I digress, as I was saying, I saw "the look" I have seen so many times before again today. I suppose my "dumb girl" training has worked remarkably well, again.
Don't worry folks, I do get it. If I can get a quantum physics book that my "genius" friends cannot, then I can get the little things. Unless of course it is math. Then like Einstein I will call my mathematician friends in to help me!
Let this just be between you and I, this kind of information in the wrong hands can be dangerous. People expect results. Shhh.....
I was always getting "the look" from my painting/artist mentor. One day when she walked around to my easel and saw what I was doing she gasped and said, "All those times I was talking I thought you were not getting it and you got it all!"
Another time someone in my life read something I had written and said to me in amazement, "I did not know you were so intelligent." I still get "the look" from this person. I think they have forgotten what I had written that awed them so.
I get a lot. I hear between the lines. I see the unseen. I observe. I connect on levels most people cannot begin to think about. I am aware. I am not dim witted and dull. I get it and so much more. The problems lies with the fact I have had years and years of training of pretending to be dumb because it was safer to be dumb than smart. I saw how people treated smart kids and I was not going to have any part of that! I kept my poetry writing a secret, my Shakespeare reading in the dark, my love of learning to myself. I often hear from folks that hold their intelligence, or the intelligence they think they have, in very high esteem look down upon me and say, "you read that book? I even had a hard time understanding it." As if I was not capable of grasping the knowledge bestowed within the pages!
What most people, or all, may not know is I have had my IQ tested more than once. Three times to be exact. Yes, each time I got something different, but it was never lower than 140. Not Mensa quality mind you but none too shabby either. Each time I had myself tested they all said the same, "Would be higher if math scores were improved." My poor math scores are terribly low, retarded person low. I cannot grasp it. Not sure why, but sadly my son has the same issue.
I digress, as I was saying, I saw "the look" I have seen so many times before again today. I suppose my "dumb girl" training has worked remarkably well, again.
Don't worry folks, I do get it. If I can get a quantum physics book that my "genius" friends cannot, then I can get the little things. Unless of course it is math. Then like Einstein I will call my mathematician friends in to help me!
Let this just be between you and I, this kind of information in the wrong hands can be dangerous. People expect results. Shhh.....
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