Saturday, April 2, 2011

unseen achievements

Much of what i do day in and day out can be categorized as unseen achievements. Little things i do day in and day out that improve the lives around me that no one notices. Dishes, laundry, cleaning rooms, etc... From an outsider it may look as if I do nothing at all but it is hard to maintain my sanity and my house at the same time. This use to bother me but now I know that it is the person not in touch with reality that has the issue. I cannot wash dishes as I paint, sew, or take a hot bath and read.

Lately I have found myself feeling the same way about my yard. Feeling overwhelmed and quite embarrassed. I have so many outdoor projects and so little time, stamina, and fortitude to feel confident in getting it all done by myself. After raking 2 hours and digging 2 hours you cannot tell i did a damn thing. I can see what I have accomplished in those 4 weeks of digging hour here and an hour there. I now have a garden bed for my sweet potato slips that will arrive in May. Right now it looks like a mess. I am now covering it with raked up dried grass from the field to keep wind from carrying off my soil. Messy. I have the area that use to be the pool that i want to dig to make a pond. i have the area where i am raking to clear out and put down a cover crop to amend the soil. I have trees to cut down so i can begin the cover crop and the rest of the raking. I also have my garden and my seedlings. I am planning a keyhole garden for strawberries. I am going to plan a food forest for my class project. I want a green house/ chicken coop for the winter. See? Overwhelmed! I got one down and others in motion. My legs ache from the constant squatting, my hands are cramping from the grip needed on the rake and shovel. my arms are sore from the lifting of dirt on a shovel. My back hurts because the full wheelbarrow fell over full of dirt. I am not complaining, just stating the facts. I am willing to pay the price to get the job done. I love this work of transforming the land into something more productive. I only wish people could see my achievements rather than my bruises, funny "back is killing me" walk, and the cuts and pokes and dripping blood. I would like to have something to show for my work.

In time, grasshopper, in time. i will have something to show. Until then know I am busting my ass and doing my best with my 5 foot tall self. Know i will have SOMETHING to show for it someday. Just believe me when I say, "I really just need to rest." It is not a cop out or that I am acting old. I just really need to rest!

speaking of which.....night! I am beat!

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