:/ part 2

It has been a long couple days. Driving into Shawnee every day and sitting with my mom in ICU. My house work has not been done, my exercising has not been done, not spending much time with the kids, and always on the phone with someone wanting to know something. This morning I cried all morning. Last straw was my husband preparing to go to the weekend for his men's group. I told him I could not make up his mind on what to do. He wanted me to say "stay" or "go" and I told him I wasn't going to say that. I could not say "go" because that would be a lie. I am watching my mother suffer and I am shlepping kids to and fro and I feel bombarded here and I could not say "stay" because then he could come back later with "you made me stay" and "I should have just gone and not listen to you." Been there! Not doing that. I finally did tell him I felt abandoned. Every single time there is something big he runs off and leaves me holding the bag. Like not picking me and his son up from the hospital when were released because something fun came up to do with work!

I cannot tell him to stay or go but I do feel angry he can't see I need him right now. As if this is just another day of normal life. He decided not to go tonight but he "thinks" he will go tomorrow and stay the weekend. As if that helps me! No, no, go ahead! I will do the grocery shopping and sit at the hospital alone, again, alone, AGAIN. And if he tells me I signed up for this again I will bust him in the lip! Nothing more irritating than a man wit two female siblings that take care of ALL family matters that his only child wife signed up for this soul assignment! A big 'ol FUCK YOU wants to be heard from here to Texas!

We will see how this plays out tomorrow. If he goes or stays. Yep, I feel bad about him missing it BUT it is not everyday your wife NEEDS some loving support during a very hard time only child or not.

There are men that drop the weekend for silly petty reasons. He has a legit reason and he might not even use it because everybody is more important than me! So be it.