....to cry or not is the question.
I have been giving this a lot of thought for a long time because I am a non-crier. I don't drop tears at the drop of a hat. I deal with the situation and if I need to cry I do, end of story. I don't cry in front of people because I was taught it is a sign of weakness, but other than that, I do cry when needed. When my son was in the hospital and the e-ray was showing black blobs and the MRI had to wait until morning and he was crying in his sleep in the hospital and I was 9 months pregnant, I cried. When my grandmother died in my arms, when my mother was life flighted, when my dog of 12 years died in my arms, I fuckin' cried. I did it in front of the vet that administered the serum to help him transition. When the state came to take back my adopted son I cried then too. I cry. I sometimes cry after sex because my emotions are going haywire and the energy inside needs to escape! I don't, however, cry frivolously. I do not cry when I get a ticket, or the washer quits, or (fill in the blank.) I didn't cry when Micheal Jackson died, Princess Diana, or Liz Taylor. I didn't cry when some of my family died. I am not heartless and cold. I am just not one of those women that cry. My aunt cried over cards, chipped nail polish, and presents. My mother too. It always annoyed me how much some women cry and why didn't I.
Then the other day a friend complained about going to a party and the host started crying and everybody spent about an hour or two helping her through it and her voice was very annoyed and she rolled her eyes. She shrugged and said, "what ya gonna do? We had to stay even though I wanted to come home."
I really started thinking about this crying issue more. This friend of mine is a non-crier as well. I have many friends of both crier and non-crier. I started to think what is different.
Then it hit me. All my crier friends are either single childless or single with 1 child or married childless or married with 1 child. All my non-crier friends have more than one child, married or not. I told my husband about this and his thoughts on the matter was, "You have a different perspective on the matter than they do." True, that is obvious. I wonder now does having more than one kid and dealing with the day to day stress of having more than one plus all the ins and outs of life make us realize that it is not worth the time, effort, and ugly face to cry because it actually was a good day all in all. No one got stitches, bruise, or bled.
I could be wrong and I could be right. That doesn't really matter because life is full of opposites and that is that. I think being a non-crier is just fine. Nothing wrong with it. When I need a pick me up I head over to my friends that have 2+ kids and we laugh our asses off for hours. Laughing is far more healing than crying anyways! :P*
I have been giving this a lot of thought for a long time because I am a non-crier. I don't drop tears at the drop of a hat. I deal with the situation and if I need to cry I do, end of story. I don't cry in front of people because I was taught it is a sign of weakness, but other than that, I do cry when needed. When my son was in the hospital and the e-ray was showing black blobs and the MRI had to wait until morning and he was crying in his sleep in the hospital and I was 9 months pregnant, I cried. When my grandmother died in my arms, when my mother was life flighted, when my dog of 12 years died in my arms, I fuckin' cried. I did it in front of the vet that administered the serum to help him transition. When the state came to take back my adopted son I cried then too. I cry. I sometimes cry after sex because my emotions are going haywire and the energy inside needs to escape! I don't, however, cry frivolously. I do not cry when I get a ticket, or the washer quits, or (fill in the blank.) I didn't cry when Micheal Jackson died, Princess Diana, or Liz Taylor. I didn't cry when some of my family died. I am not heartless and cold. I am just not one of those women that cry. My aunt cried over cards, chipped nail polish, and presents. My mother too. It always annoyed me how much some women cry and why didn't I.
Then the other day a friend complained about going to a party and the host started crying and everybody spent about an hour or two helping her through it and her voice was very annoyed and she rolled her eyes. She shrugged and said, "what ya gonna do? We had to stay even though I wanted to come home."
I really started thinking about this crying issue more. This friend of mine is a non-crier as well. I have many friends of both crier and non-crier. I started to think what is different.
Then it hit me. All my crier friends are either single childless or single with 1 child or married childless or married with 1 child. All my non-crier friends have more than one child, married or not. I told my husband about this and his thoughts on the matter was, "You have a different perspective on the matter than they do." True, that is obvious. I wonder now does having more than one kid and dealing with the day to day stress of having more than one plus all the ins and outs of life make us realize that it is not worth the time, effort, and ugly face to cry because it actually was a good day all in all. No one got stitches, bruise, or bled.
I could be wrong and I could be right. That doesn't really matter because life is full of opposites and that is that. I think being a non-crier is just fine. Nothing wrong with it. When I need a pick me up I head over to my friends that have 2+ kids and we laugh our asses off for hours. Laughing is far more healing than crying anyways! :P*
1 comment:
I will clarify the host of the mentioned womens party was single in a realtionship. she was crying because some people left earlier than 3am.
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